Many factors influence the way you grieve after the death of a loved one, and the manner in which you deal with the grieving process can have an impact on your long-term future. Although there is not a "right" or "wrong" way to grieve, some expressions of grief are healthier than others. First and foremost, it is essential that you deal with your grief and work through it in your own way.
Considerations
According to the Rev. Andrew Lake, vicar of All Saints Anglican Church, grief over the death of a loved one is the most intense grief a person will experience. Grieving is a natural process that causes emotional pain. The way you grieve and the length of time you spend grieving will vary from one person to another and even from one situation to another. And although every grieving experience is different, grief generally moves through certain typical phases. The grieving experience itself occupies a tremendous amount of both mental and emotional energy.
Misconceptions
Death and grief are often misunderstood processes, and the topics themselves make most people uncomfortable. This can make the experience even lonelier for those grieving, because many times they actually want to talk about the death and surrounding circumstances. Society seems to promote the idea that emotions should not be displayed after the funeral and the grieving process should be well on its way to complete recovery within six months. However, individuals who are grieving should be encouraged to grieve in their own way and at their own pace.
Facts
It is important to acknowledge your grief and actively deal with it. Crying and feeling sad is normal. It is a healthy way of dealing with the grieving process. However, some people do not show their grief by crying. That is also a normal response to grief. Each person is an individual and therefore the method and the time frame for grieving will be different from person to person.
Types
There are many types of grief and the type of grief displayed during the grieving process often depends on several factors. This will include the relationship you had with your loved one, the circumstances surrounding the death, as well as the individual's personality. Below you will see a list of some basic types of grief and some examples of what each includes, according to Embracing Caregiving, an information service from the nonprofit organization Aging America Resources:
• Emotional Grief -- feelings of sadness, anger, and guilt
• Physical Grief -- tears, restlessness, nausea, and other visible signs of grief
• Mental Grief -- confusion, denial, inability to concentrate
• Spiritual Grief -- increased or decreased religious beliefs or confidence in God
• Social Grief -- withdrawal or isolation, dependency on friends or family
Complications
Unresolved grief or long-lasting, deep-rooted grief may eventually result in depression, anxiety, physical illness or even suicidal thoughts. Grief should be worked through, and if it seems to be overwhelming a doctor or mental-health professional should be contacted.
Jeannette Curtis, writing for the PeaceHealth website, says the actual grieving process and adjusting to the loss after the death of a loved one can take two years or more, and even after that time you are likely to re-experience feelings of grief during holidays and special events.
