Caring for a parent with memory loss involves love and dedication, challenge and heartbreak. You not only have to take care of your parent's daily needs, but you also want to enhance their quality of life. At the same time, you need to deal with your own grief at losing the parents you once knew, and you have to take care of yourself mentally and physically.
Daily Care
The activities of daily life become a challenge when your parent suffers from memory loss, but the Alzheimer's Association recommends steps to cope. At mealtime, help your parent concentrate on eating by reducing distractions--for instance, turn off the television. Remove extraneous items from the table such as centerpieces so your parent can focus on her plate. Serve only a couple of foods at a time in solid-colored dishes.
For bathing, have supplies ready to avoid confusion. If your parent can shower herself, put soap and shampoo in easy reach. If she prefers a bath, see which is more calming--filling the tub ahead or waiting until she's seated. When it's time to dress, offer one or two choices so your parent isn't overwhelmed. The clothes should be comfortable and simple to get on and off. If you need to, offer instructions to make dressing easier.
Providing Stimulation
Stimulating activities improve communication and provide a sense of purpose for people with memory loss. Clinical psychologist Cynthia Green, an assistant clinical professor of psychiatry at Mount Sinai Medical Center, recommends helping your parent continue in his areas of interest, even if you have to modify the activities. If your father was an avid gardener, ask him to grow herbs for you, or set him up with a container garden. Also, make dates with your dad's old friends and colleagues. Socializing and reminiscing can be powerful medicine.
Dealing With Behaviors
Difficult behaviors often accompany memory loss. If that's the case with your parent, the Alzheimer's Association recommends staying calm and not taking the behavior personally. If your parent becomes agitated, try to remove the cause of her stress--for example, quiet a barking dog or turn off a flashing light. Also, check to determine whether there's a physical cause for the agitation such as hunger or thirst, constipation or fatigue. If your parent turns aggressive, analyze what triggered it and switch to a different, more relaxing activity. Only use physical restraint if the situation becomes dangerous.
Finding Support
Caring for your parent can be a hard, tiring job, and the AARP recommends finding others to help you. Ask friends and family to lend a hand, or call in a home-care agency to handle the activities of daily life. Home-care workers do everything from personal care to cooking and cleaning. If money is an issue, contact your church or local council on aging. They often can arrange volunteers to help with chores or just to sit and socialize.
Take care of your own needs, too. Don't be shy about talking to friends about the challenges you're facing, or visiting a pastor or counselor for the same purpose. You'll also find a variety of support groups for adult children taking care of parents with memory loss. Ask at your hospital or senior center, or join a group online.
