For many young children, separating from a parent produces crying, clinging and screaming. Separation anxiety is a normal part of childhood development and typically dissipates before children enter school, according to the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. Rarely does a child experience such severe symptoms of anxiety and fearfulness that they interfere with school attendance and social relationships.
Step 1
Provide consistent caregivers and practice leaving. Separation anxiety most often appears between the ages of 8 months and 1 year, according to KidsHealth. Avoid changing day care providers or switching babysitters at this age. If you are your child's primary caregiver, practice leaving your child with your partner or other caregiver for only short periods of time. When you leave, the caregivers should distract your child with a toy, book or game. If the child asks questions about where you are, have the caregiver respond briefly about when you'll be back, such as "Mom will be home after she visits the store."
Step 2
Keep exits calm. If your child is prone to separation anxiety, schedule leaving times after mealtimes and naps, when your child is more likely to remain calm. Keep your voice pleasant and firm while you say goodbye and squelch the urge to sneak out. According to KidsHealth, experts say parents who sneak out while their kids aren't looking could provoke separation anxiety. Reassure your child that you'll return, and she'll be less likely to feel anxious.
Step 3
Ease anxiety in schoolchildren with praise and contact. According to Helpguide.org, going to school may cause anxiety for children who have struggled with separation anxiety. Work with the school to negotiate later drop-off times or partial school days while your child adjusts. Identify a safe place at school, such as the counselor's office, which can serve as a refuge for your child when he feels extreme anxiety. Keep the lines of communication open by praising your child for his efforts to become independent. Remind him you love him with notes in your child's lunchbox, or arrange to have him make brief phone calls home during the school day.
Step 4
Get help for extreme anxiety. Children with severe, persistent separation anxiety can develop social and educational problems if they don't receive professional mental health care from a qualified professional. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry recommends that parents seek help for separation anxiety if children experience extreme fearfulness, racing or pounding heartbeat, shortness of breath or other symptoms of severe anxiety or panic disorder.
