Setting up clear rules of the home and enforcing them through discipline is a crucial aspect of parenting and teaching your child how to act appropriately. Unfortunately, some children do not take well to direction, and may even become defiant when asking them to do tasks around the house. When this is the case, there are several tips that can be used to help change your child's unwanted behavior.
Step 1
Make a bright and noticeable sign to post in your house or on the refrigerator listing all the rules of the house. Go over the rules one by one with your child. Posting rules acts as a constant reminder, and also removes the excuse that the defiant child did not know that what she was doing is wrong.
Step 2
Set up clear consequences for not following the rules. Set up a rewards system as well for consistently good behavior and doing what you ask on the first try, recommends Dr. Alan Kazdin of the Yale University Parenting Center and Child Conduct Clinic. Rewards can range from positive praise and encouragement to point systems that lead to a special reward, such as a daddy date night or the chance to watch a movie.
Step 3
Tell your child what you want him to do rather than tell him what you don't want him to do. For example, be specific in asking your child to put his clothes in the dirty clothes hamper instead of telling him not to throw his clothes on the floor.
Step 4
Ignore unwanted or annoying behavior by simply walking away. Do not give extra attention--good or bad--to a defiant behavior in your child. Remove the reward of your attention until your child sees that her defiant behavior is no longer getting the results she wants.
Step 5
Involve a professional to help you correct the unwanted behavior in your child. Choose from options including behavioral therapy, group social skills training classes and family group psychotherapy. In severe cases, such as with children with oppositional defiant disorder, medications for ADHD, anxiety and mood disorders may also be an option, states the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry.
Step 6
Be consistent in your actions when disciplining or rewarding your defiant child. Always consistently react the same way to the negative or positive behavior to give your child the chance to see and understand that his behavior is appropriate or not appropriate.
