Many children go through a period where they have more temper tantrums, seem more oppositional and act out. This can happen during transitions or when they feel uncomfortable. For instance, a child may misbehave when he begins elementary school, when his parents get divorced or when his best friend moves away. Sometimes, the behavior might be a result of a mental health issue, such as ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder or an anxiety disorder.
Set And Maintain Consistent Rules
When you're dealing with a difficult child, you need to sit down with your partner and decide on a consistent set of rules and consequences. If you both give consequences for the same behaviors, it will help to reduce them. However, if the child can act out with one parent and get away with it, it will be much harder to cope with the behavior.
Write down the household rules, go over them with the child and place them near the spot you take the child for time-outs. This way you can review rules with the child after the timeout. The University of Michigan Health System reports that it's important that the child understand the rules and consequences. When your child breaks a rule, give her a warning, and if she continues the behavior, take her to the timeout spot. Her age determines the amount of time she should stay in time-out. For example, if she's 5, she should remain in timeout for five minutes.
Ignore Attention-Seeking Behavior
If your child is acting out to get your attention, let him know that you know why he's misbehaving. Tell him that you will not give him your attention until he stops misbehaving. For example, you might say, "Timmy, I recognize that you're screaming to get my attention. When you stop screaming, I'll give you my attention." Then ignore the child until he stops misbehaving.
Temper tantrums are often an attention-seeking behavior. Colorado State University Extension recommends waiting until the child calms down to talk to her. In the meantime, try to understand why she had a temper tantrum, so you can address the main issue.
Reward Positive Behavior
Difficult children display positive and negative behavior. A big mistake parents make is only commenting on negative behavior. To reinforce positive behavior, you must reward it. This doesn't mean giving your child money or toys when he's being good. This just means giving him attention, telling him that you appreciate the way he's acting and giving him praise. If he's acting really good, you could reward him with an experience. For example, you could play a board game with him, take him to the park or allow him to have a friend over.
