Do interactions with your child make you wonder if you're the star in a remake of "Groundhog Day"? Parents with children who repeatedly disobey could hit "replay" on a tape recorder from yesterday, and the same maddening circumstances would unfold without fail. Many parents repeat themselves ad nauseam day in and day out, without obtaining the desired result: a series of requests that effortlessly result in the intended behavior. An effective behavior plan orders your home, and affords peace of mind to you and your child.
Relevance
Normally developed, healthy children ignore about one-third of the commands given to them. Children with problems in self-control, however, are often rejected by peers, have school adjustment problems, delinquent behaviors and emotional problems. Habitual disobedience can result in oppositional defiant disorder (ODD), characterized by a relentless pattern of arguments with adults, loss of temper, deliberately blaming or annoying others, refusing to follow the rules and being vindictive. Researchers at the University of Chicago estimate the incidence of ODD at 5 to 16 percent of the general population, with 30 percent progressing to conduct disorder (CD), a more severe disorder often leading to jail sentences for persistent violations of the others or the law. Early measures, like implementing effective behavior plans, may reduce the likelihood and incidence of these outcomes.
Function
Behavior plans allow a child to develop more self-control, and also help the parent feel more effective, respected and at peace. Most often, parents give a command, and if the child does not comply, the parent may yell at the child or simply forget about it and move on, both ineffective strategies. By mapping the expectations and consequences ahead of time, behavior plans offer both the parent and child a clear strategy, leaving neither surprised nor spent.
Types
Behavior plans can be a verbal or written set of expectations, with identified outcomes for complying with or resisting them. According to experts at Early Intervention Support, because of their shorter attention spans and difficulty conceptualizing time, younger children may benefit from additional written or graphic elements on the plan. Enlisting your child's art skills to develop hand-made posters and charts help them feel in control and included in the plan's development.
Solution
A solid plan will help guide you and your child to success. Michael Bloomquist, director of the Attention and Behavior Problems Clinic at the University of Minnesota, outlines numerous strategies to shape your child's behaviors. First, discuss and write down the rules. Then determine the consequences for not complying with them. Give effective 10-words-or-less commands. Don't be vague: "Respect your brother!" Don't form a command as a question: "Would you please put your socks on?" Don't over-explain, repeat or give multiple commands. If your child does not comply, use an effective warning in an "if...then" statement: "If you don't turn off the TV right now, then you will sit in the time-out chair for 8 minutes." If there is no compliance, remove the privilege or give the time-out. Remain calm and consistent. Recasting rules into daily behavior expectations and including daily reinforcements and/or mild punishment, may result in a higher degree of obedience. Identify up to four specific behaviors. Small, nontangible daily rewards, such as reading a book with a parent for 50 percent compliance, or watching a favorite DVD for 75 to 100 percent compliance, and one larger weekly reward, such as a bike ride in the park for outstanding compliance, helps motivate a child to follow the rules. Zero percent compliance may warrant mild punishment in the form of removal of a privilege. Keep this chart posted where the child sees it and is frequently reminded by it.
Considerations
Behavior plans begin with the parents. Bloomquist, in "Skills Training for Children With Behavior Problems," notes, "If parents and family are functioning well, it is likely that the child will too." How parents respond to their child shapes their behavior. Work with a mental health professional to refine your own communication and distress tolerance skills, and examine your beliefs about your child that may be affecting your response. Some behavior problems are a result of psychiatric disorders that require professional treatment. Have your child fully evaluated by a mental health professional should your child's behavior continue or worsen.
References
- "Skills Training for Children With Behavior Problems"; Michael Bloomquist, Ph.D.; 2006.
- "Quick Reference to the Diagnostic Criteria from the DSM-IV-TR"; American Psychiatric Association; 2000
- University of Chicago: Oppositional Defiant Disorder
- Early Intervention Support: Attention Spans
