Self-confidence is a belief in your ability to master your own environment, learn new skills and face new challenges. Parents help children gain self-confidence by giving unconditional love and setting realistic expectations for the child's developmental stage, according to Texas A&M University's Fostering Healthy Relationships Project. Solutions for low self-confidence include strengthening areas where children feel positive about themselves and helping them feel more positive in areas where they feel negative about themselves.
Identification
Children with low self-confidence do not feel as well equipped as those with normal levels of confidence to deal with new situations or even enjoy themselves with other people, notes the U.S. Department of Education. Signs of low self-confidence in children include staying within a safety zone and refusing to take risks, try new things or meet new people. A child with low self-confidence may talk negatively about friends and have a hard time working out problems with them. He may appear insecure in speech and actions and fail to participate in group situations.
Effects
Low self-confidence might make children question whether or not other people like them and whether they will have satisfying, supportive relationships with others. According to the U.S. Department of Education, low self-confidence slows down children's abilities to improve their own self-image and can ultimately be associated with depression, as well as eating disorders, substance abuse and other self-destructive habits.
On the other hand, children who are self-confident expect to get help and support from adults, expect their relationships to be successful and trust that they will be able to master a variety of new skills, according to the National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families. Children who feel confident are more likely to succeed academically and personally, according to Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh. They are also better able to stand up for themselves if they are bullied.
Significance
When parents have overly high expectations for their child and the child cannot live up to those expectations, he may develop low self-confidence, according to the Oregon State University Extension Service. Parents also influence a child's self-confidence by the way they respond to his behavior and choices. Overly strict or judgmental responses can discourage self-confidence. Children who lack self-confidence in one or more areas of their lives do not believe they can succeed in those areas. Over time, as children gather more negative feedback from parents, teachers and peers and become more able to compare their own perceived achievements and failures with those of others, they begin to sense that their lack of success so far means they will not be successful in the future. Those negative messages can defeat the child's motivation to succeed.
Prevention/Solution
Routines and predictable events help babies and children feel confident and in control of their worlds. Problem-solving helps children feel a sense of accomplishment and success. Parents can help build up low self-confidence by giving their children age-appropriate chores and responsibilities, offering guidance without actually performing the task for them and celebrating their achievements and successes. The goal is to give children the self-confidence they need to handle difficult situations on their own as they get older. The National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families also suggests careful role modeling, because children watch their parents to figure out what to do and how to feel in various situations.
Considerations
According to a Fall 1999 article published in Princeton University's journal, "The Future of Children: Transition to Adulthood," middle childhood, which spans ages 6 to 14, is a time when children have many opportunities to develop interests and skills, and with the right experiences, they will develop confidence that they can master and be in charge of their own worlds. According to the U.S. Department of Education, some teachers and psychologists feel the best way to help a child build up confidence is to provide opportunities to succeed in areas the child cares about.
References
- Texas A&M University: Setting Realistic Expectations for Children and Adolescents
- U.S. Department of Education: Confidence--Helping Your Child Through Early Adolescence
- National Center for Infants, Toddlers, and Families: Confidence
- The Future of Children: Middle Childhood
- Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh: Building Your Child's Self-Esteem
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