An individual with an addiction to gambling can increase the amount of stress in a family as the family struggles to understand the problem. Family members may become passive enablers to the problem gambler as they retreat into denial and refuse to acknowledge the stress that problem gambling places on the entire family.
Risks
California Council on Problem Gambling reports that families of problem gamblers experience similar emotions as the problem gambler such as denial, exhaustion, stress and feelings of hopelessness. The Royal College of Psychiatrists reports that problem gamblers have a high risk of depression, developing alcohol or drug problems, becoming divorced, committing suicide or committing a crime to support their addiction.
Enabling Behavior
Family members may deny that the gambler has a problem and may accept his reasons for gambling and suggest that he only minimize the amount of time and effort he dedicates to gambling. A spouse of a problem gambler may convince herself that she is reading too much into a situation that may not exist. The problem gambler may imply that his spouse, not his impulse to gamble, is the source of the problem. Family members may passively accept a relationship dynamic in which they live from "one crisis to the next" and deny the problem in between a problem gambler's more serious episodes, according to The State of Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services.
Effects
A feeling of detachment can grow between family members and the problem gambler because of the increased pain that the problem gambler's behavior causes. A problem gambler can be resistant to efforts by family members to help him change his destructive behavior.
Confronting the Problem Gambler
The State of Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services suggests seeking support from a self-help group that focuses on gambling addiction. The spouse of a problem gambler should explain the problem to the children while recognizing the problem gambler's positive qualities. Tell the problem gambler that you seek help for yourself because of the way his gambling affects the family. Avoid lecturing or creating an impression that your are a better person than the problem gambler. Do not give ultimatums or make threats unless you are serious about the consequences. Allow the problem gambler to remain a part of family activities and family life. Do not deny the problem to yourself, your family or to others.
Solution
A gambling addiction can lead to a family breaking up, a gambler getting into trouble with the law, or the best case scenario of the gambler admitting that he has a problem and seeking help. Family members can detach themselves from the gambling problem emotionally and financially through counseling for themselves if the problem gambler refuses to get help, according to The State of Connecticut Department of Mental Health and Addiction Services. Counseling can help family members shift their focus from basing their lives around the gambling problem to living in a healthier and more normal way.
