Communicating with your child is not always easy. According to the Washington State Department of Social and Health Services, communicating with your child is even more difficult when the topic involves emotion and feelings rather than facts or directions. No matter what the topic, however, developing an understanding of and making an effort to practice effective communication techniques is important for the healthy growth of your child and can have a lasting impact on how your child relates, and communicates, with others.
Communicate by Listening
Actively listening to your child shows him you have an interest in and respect for what he has to say. Good listening skills include giving complete attention to your child, maintaining direct eye contact and letting your child speak without interruption. If time or circumstance does not permit you to stop and listen, be honest and then set up a time when the two of you will be able to speak without distractions. When he finishes speaking, Parenting-Ed.org recommends a short sentence summarizing what your child just said, both to verify you are listening and to give your child a chance to clear up a misunderstanding before you respond.
Communicate Through Actions
Effective communication includes more than just the words you speak. Become aware of how your facial expressions and body language affect the way your child interprets messages. For example, standing straight with your arms folded across your chest, standing with your hands on your hips, foot tapping, scowls and eye rolling convey a far different message than one you convey by sitting on the floor or kneeling to bring yourself to her level, touching her arm and looking directly at her.
Communicate by Speaking
A good way to avoid misunderstandings and to engage your child in conversation is to ask open-ended questions or "door openers," as Washington State DSHS calls them. Door openers invite your child to keep talking and convey a message to your child that you consider this conversation important. Examples of door openers include questions such as "Could you explain that to me," "What do you think about..." or statements such as "I would like to hear more about that."
Use words appropriate for your child's age, and when communicating with young children, keep conversations short. Parenting-Ed.org recommends when you speak with your children, talk for 30 seconds, then stop and ask an open-ended question. This can help you determine whether your child is paying attention and understands what you are saying.
Use statements instead of questions when giving your child a directive to follow rather than a choice to make. This will avoid confusion and let your child know what you want him to do and why you want him to do it.
Understand that disagreements are to some extent unavoidable, and are signs that your child is experimenting with independence. According to ChildDisciplineWithLove.com, the most important thing to remember is to control your temper and learn to use disagreements as a teaching tool. Follow guidelines for effective communication, even when disagreeing and, in the process, teach your child to disagree without arguing.
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