Teens enter relationships with one another while they are still learning who they are and what they believe. When you pair up with a girl, you might think that she's "the one" for you and that your relationship will last forever. Then you start experiencing jealousy, or she starts trying to control who you spend time with. You know something's not right with your relationship when you're not sure you trust her or when she tries to limit who you hang out with.
Significance
Teens experience jealousy in their relationships---with both friends and romantic partners. This emotion affects the quality of your relationships and can make it difficult for you to treat your boyfriend in a healthy, respectful way. Your relationship can become unhealthy when you start to treat your him in a controlling or disrespectful manner, writes Kids Health.
If you are jealous of your boyfriend and you get angry when you see him talking with a female classmate, you should back out of your relationship and get counseling. Once you have gone through counseling, you should be able to witness your boyfriend talking to other girls without becoming angry, controlling or disrespectful.
Identification
Jealousy comes from feelings of low self-esteem or loneliness, writes "Developmental Psychology" in a January 2005 article. If you don't feel good about about yourself, it's hard for you to believe that your girlfriend wants to stay with you. When you see her laughing and joking with other guys, your feelings of jealousy take over.
The "Developmental Psychology" article points out that when you open yourself to a romantic relationship, you make yourself emotionally vulnerable. If you're already dealing with poor self-esteem, you are at a higher risk of acting aggressively against your girlfriend if you become jealous.
Effects
Think about shows like "Jerry Springer." When you see couples sitting onstage, detailing their relationships along with cheating behaviors, you're seeing the effects of these couples' inability to handle intimacy in a mature way.
Jealousy affects your relationships in the same way, with disrespect, fighting and, possibly, physical violence. This is not normal and it is not an expression of love. Instead, it is an expression of control, writes Kids Health.
Warning
When you see your boyfriend talking with another girl, before you get angry and accuse him of "cheating" on you, consider that he may have been discussing a homework assignment. It's not healthy to talk to him disrespectfully, call him names or slap him when he tries to explain.
If he is involved in an activity that takes him away from your side, you may believe that he doesn't love you because he wants to continue that activity. You may try to control who he sees, spends time with, or talks to, for instance, his friends, teammates or others he is involved with, writes Kids Health
Considerations
You may have heard the expression, "You can't love others until you love yourself." This is true---you cannot expect your girlfriend to love you unless you love who you are, writes Kids Health. Your girlfriend can't make you feel good about yourself, and if you put her in this position, you're only going to take from her, instead of giving. She's eventually going to become tired of trying to make you feel good about who you are, and your relationship will become a burden or a "chore" to her.
