Love can reportedly conquer a lot, but it certainly has its work cut out for it when it comes to being in a relationship with an alcoholic. People addicted to alcohol often end up hurting themselves as well as everyone around them. Such actions can strain, and eventually kill, a relationship.
Obsession
People who think they can compete with alcohol for an alcoholic's attention are in for a major disappointment. For alcoholics, drinking---and the need for alcohol---becomes the main focus of their lives, the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous explains. For an alcoholic, drinking has long passed the point of being a way to unwind or to socialize. It is no longer even a habit but instead the sole reason for living. The alcoholic loses interest in things he used to enjoy---including relationships. As much as an alcoholic may love you, chances are he'll love the bottle more.
Violence
Violence is a major relationship killer often prompted by alcohol use, the National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism says. Alcohol is a factor in at least one-quarter and up to one-half of violent situations between intimate partners. Women and children are the main targets in a family situation that includes an alcoholic, but the victim could be anyone. The violence can extend to friends, coworkers or even strangers in the neighborhood bar or in the street.
Self-Control
Self-control often goes out the window when someone starts drinking, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration warns. A normally rational and logical person can turn irrational and impulsive after he gets some alcohol in his system. His actions not only affect his own safety and well-being but also those around him. Unprotected sex, driving under the influence, starting fights and lashing out at those around him are several examples noted by the Drinker Inventory of Consequences, a 50-question survey used by therapists to assess problem drinking. Wanton spending or using household money or savings for booze is another danger.
Remorse
The morning after is frequently a very bad time for alcoholics. In addition to a hangover, alcoholics often suffer from remorse and regret, the Drinker Inventory of Consequences notes, and will beg for your forgiveness. On the flip side, an alcoholic may show no remorse whatsoever the morning after if he had a blackout and absolutely no recollection of what he did the night before. The remorse and shame can riddle an alcoholic so deeply that he will promise to change for you and never touch a drop of alcohol again. This promise is all too often broken nearly as quickly as it's made, Alcoholics Anonymous warns.
Health
The hangover is not the only ill physical effect alcohol induces, SAMISA points out. Continuous heavy drinking often leads to a number of diseases that range from liver disorders to cancer. People in relationships with alcoholics can end up spending a lot of time in area hospitals or becoming caretakers for their alcoholic loved one. Some relationships will not survive the stress of taking care of the alcoholic, or worrying about his health when he continues to drink.
References
- National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism: Alcohol Problems in Intimate Relationships
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: Tips for Teens: The Truth about Alcohol
- Center on Alcoholism, Substance Abuse and Addiction: Drinker Inventory of Consequences
- Alcoholics Anonymous World Services: Big Book Online
