A parent's death leaves a gaping hole of sadness, even when the person was elderly and lived a full life. The surviving children lose an important family member and go through a grieving process. Everyone experiences grief in his own way, but there are some commonalities, according to the Help Guide mental health site. The sense of loss never goes away completely, but the grief does lessen over time.
Definition
Parents are an important part of most youngsters' lives. They provide support and nurturing that often continues when the children have grown. The relationship sometimes reverses when the parents grow elderly, if they need care because of physical or mental infirmities. When they pass away, it leaves a gap in the family.
Parents are not close to their children in some families, but their loss can still cause grief. It may be based on guilt for past conflicts, hurt for not having a closer relationship, or a variety of other reasons. These feelings must be resolved through the grieving process.
Time Frame
People sometimes try to put a time frame on the grieving process, but the Hospice of the North Shore states that there is no specific time frame. Some bereaved children move through the process quickly, while others may take a year or more to fully process the loss of an elderly parent.
Types
Some people are very tearful while grieving an elderly parent's death, while others don't show much emotion at all. The Hospice of the North Shore explains that both reactions are normal. People work through grief in different ways, Some are very expressive and let it out in obvious ways, such as crying and talking. Others deal with it internally, but still feel a deep sense of loss. Some try to ignore the pain completely, but the Hospice of the North Shore warns that it will not go away until it is dealt with.
Features
Parental loss brings out a variety of emotions, such as shock, sadness, guilt, fear and anger. Help Guide explains that some people even experience physical symptoms such as insomnia, fatigue and weight loss or gain. The Mayo Clinic recommends that grieving family members get support. It can come from others in the family, friends, clergy and professional counselors. There are also in-person and online support groups for adults who have lost elderly parents. Find them through hospitals, hospices and counselors.
Considerations
Some people feel uncomfortable when they reach the end of the grieving process for an elderly parent. The Hospice of the North Shore explains that they feel they are forgetting about the lost loved one if they move on. They can keep the memory alive in many positive ways, including displaying favorite photographs and mementos or having a special celebration on the parent's birthday. Many people who lose elderly parents have children of their own. The grandchildren can join in the memorial activities and share treasured memories so they do not forget the lost grandparent as they grow up.
