Effective communication skills are paramount to being a good parent. These skills become even more important as your child matures. When a child is still very young, communication will basically revolve around her physical needs. As a parent, you will be there to interpret those needs and fulfill them. However, as a child grows older, the communication patterns will shift, and you will be expected to really listen and respond to needs that will demand more of your attention.
Considerations
The need for a parent's undivided attention begins right from the time the child is a toddler. This prepares you for adolescence, and the early steps you take to hone your communication skills are a training ground. Some steps of effective parent-child communication, according to the Child Development Institute, are to let the child know you want to listen to him; turn off the TV or put down the newspaper; hold conversations in privacy; don't put your child on the spot; and if you are angry, wait until you cool down to try to communicate.
Significance
When a child reaches the ages between fifth grade and eighth grade, the amount of time she spends with her family is cut in half, according to Mental Health America. This is unfortunate, as these are the ages when children will start looking outside the home environment for different perspectives. Parents who are not engaged fully with their children run a real risk of losing them. To prevent this from happening, parents can introduce the difficult topics that adolescents try to avoid, like sex, drugs, smoking and drinking.
Misconceptions
In "Mind Publications," Vijai P. Sharma, Ph.D., discusses what teens really want in terms of communication with their parents. Teens, surprisingly, want closer relationships with parents. When asked, some of them responded with remarks like, "They don't really listen" and "They don't really understand so it doesn't really help." With these startling comments as a backdrop, Sharma firmly states that parents need to take the initiative and rise to the challenge of listening and trying harder to understand.
Expert Advice
On the Advocates for Youth website, experts pose the question to parents: "Are you an askable parent?" "Askable" simply means are you approachable, accessible and open to topics that the teenage child might want to know about. Teenagers who are not privy to information about sex are more likely to experiment in risky behavior than teens who have discussed it at length with their parents. This accessibility can also be applied to questions about drugs and alcohol.
Effects
It is becoming more clear throughout society that open lines of communication are what is needed when raising children, in light of the many school shootings and youth violence in the U.S. Parents need to be more present in the lives of their children, and good communication skills cannot start early enough.
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