The decision to find a birth mom can be emotional and time-consuming. The U.S. Administration for Children and Family's Child Welfare Information Gateway recommends that adoptees prepare psychologically before starting the search for a birth parent. Specifically, they suggest that adoptees join a support group and talk to their family members about their decision so they can be mentally prepared to begin their research and work through the complex feeling that comes with finding a birth mom.
Step 1
Compile information on the birth mom. Begin by collecting as much information as you can on the birth mom. Talk to each party involved in the adoption, including the adoptive parents and attorneys, and request any paperwork that might give you clues about the birth mother's identity and whereabouts.
Step 2
Research your state's laws. Since each jurisdiction makes its own laws regarding access to adoption records, review the regulations specific to the state where your family finalized your adoption. You can request information from the state's department of health, Legal Aid office or a private adoption attorney.
Step 3
Contact the agency that facilitated the adoption. According to Adoption.com, only two states, Alaska and Kansas, allow adoptees to access their original birth certificates. In other jurisdictions, adoptees may be able to access non-identifying information on their birth mother that provides clues about her identity and whereabouts, such as age at the time of the adoption, race, ethnicity and place of birth.
Step 4
Search public records. If you know the birth mother's name, approximate age and state of residence, search marriage, divorce and property records. These records are accessible to the public at no cost through courthouses, registrars of deeds and offices of the county clerk.
Step 5
Work with a search and reunion service. Both state health departments and private organizations offer search and reunion registries. These registries allow you to search for birth mothers by name, age and place of adoption, as well as enter your own biographical information.
