Manic-depression, now known as bipolar disorder, affects as many as 5.7 million Americans in the United States every year, according to the National Institute of Mental Health. Bipolar disorder causes changes in mood and behavior that can affect all aspects of your life, including your personal relationships. Whether you are living with bipolar disorder or care about someone who is, knowing as much as you can about the disorder, its symptoms and effects will help keep your relationship strong.
Depressive Symptoms
Depression is one part of the cycle of bipolar disorder. Depression can cause you to feel sad, alone, tired and guilty for things that aren't your fault. You may not feel like seeing or talking to anyone, and lose interest in things you once liked to do. Some people with severe depression have a hard time even getting out of bed or taking care of their hygiene needs. This type of withdrawal can make the other person in the relationship feel rejected, frustrated and as if his partner doesn't care about him.
Manic Symptoms
Mania can take many forms. Some of the most common include feelings of euphoria, restlessness, insomnia and an elevated sense of self-importance. Mania can also cause inappropriate anger, irritability and extreme impulsivity. People with bipolar disorder may go on spending sprees, engage in excessive drinking or drug use, or get involved in risky or inappropriate sexual behavior. These things can all tear at the seams of even the best relationships--it's hard to sit by and watch as your partner runs up credit cards, goes on substance-induced rages or has sex with another person.
Honesty is Key
If you have bipolar disorder, be honest with your partner. Tell him what your symptoms usually look like. Remember, no two people with bipolar disorder have the same set of symptoms, so your partner may not know what to expect. Learn to recognize your triggers and signs that a depressive or manic episode may be coming on, if you can. Let your partner know when you feel these mood shifts coming so he's prepared for them.
Coping When Your Partner has Bipolar Disorder
Many people with bipolar disorder learn to manage their symptoms, most often through medication, therapy or some combination of the two. Still, bipolar disorder can cause problems in any relationship, and dealing with this illness can be difficult. Having your own therapist to talk to can help you make better sense of what's going on with your partner. It also allows you to vent some of your frustrations and concerns about what she's going through. Joint therapy with your partner can be helpful as well.
Try to remember the good things that you love about your partner. That person is still there, and together you may be able to regain the relationship you once had.
If your partner exhibits dangerous behaviors, you may have to do things like taking away any joint credit cards you have, or removing all the alcohol from the house. Talk to her about these steps when she's in a level place, and explain that it's not because you mistrust her or don't care, but because you want her to stay healthy and know the illness sometimes impairs her judgment.
Ask for Help
There may be times in your relationship that you can't cope on your own. Bipolar disorder is often the biggest thing in the relationship, and the symptoms can make it hard to get anything else done. Whether you or your partner is the one with the disorder, reach out to people who know, understand and are compassionate about the situation. Family and friends are often eager to lend a hand with child care, making dinner or just offer a friendly ear when the situation becomes overwhelming.
