How to Handle a Problem Child

Overview

Parenting a difficult child requires more than patience and love. A structured plan should be adopted to deal with children who engage in problematic behaviors. Parents of willful children often give up before a disciplinary strategy has time to work and may switch between parenting tactics, which leaves a child confused. Learn to successfully handle a difficult child by adopting and maintaining a particular proven approach.

Step 1

Identify the particular difficult behaviors your child is exhibiting. Write these down to gain a clear look at the scope of the problem. List each behavior along with specific instances in which it has been recently displayed. Look for patterns and possible triggers.

Step 2

Schedule a full assessment with health care professionals to discover if there is a medical basis for your child's behavior. Take your notebook with you and discuss privately with the child's physician what problems are occurring. It is possible your child may suffer from attention deficit disorder or another medical issue that could require medication.

Step 3

Provide a structured environment in which your child can function without worrying about indistinct boundaries. Children need to know there are clear expectations. While your home does not need to operate like a military base (which will likely be too confining for family members), you do need to provide reassuring organization.

Step 4

Set reasonable limits and explain consequences. Make sure these are clear to the child. Expect these limits to be challenged, especially early on as your child tests your seriousness about his behavior.

Step 5

Follow through with the outlined consequences for infractions to the limits you have set. With consistency, your child will learn not to expect to "get away" with inappropriate actions. Make sure the consequences are neither too harsh, as the child will likely rebel against gross unfairness, nor too lenient, as the outcome for a particular behavior needs to be effective in deterring future rule breaking.

Step 6

Practice positive parenting. Get excited when your child behaves appropriately. Let the child feed off your positive energy. Give specific feedback and compliments for good actions. Conversely, respond in a low-key manner to problem behavior. Speak to your child in a calm, low voice and let her know that the consequence will be enforced. Do not give her any of the energy (even negative energy) that accompanies good behavior.

Step 7

Reward positive behavior. This may be with specific praise or an extra privilege or both. Celebrate his progress. Be sure to "catch" him behaving appropriately and comment on it rather than acknowledging only negative behavior.