Chemical dependency is indiscriminant. It can strike the suburban mother-of-four just as viciously as the low-income mother spending rent money on illicit drugs. The drug of choice doesn't matter, nor does the socioeconomic position of the user. Twelve-step programs say that addiction is "cunning, baffling and powerful," and that can be just as true for the child of a drug-addicted mother as it is for the user. Caring for your chemically dependent mother requires professional help. You can't do it alone, nor is it safe to try. You can take steps to ensure that she knows that help is available, and you must be strong if she chooses not to accept that help.
Step 1
Research treatment options in your area. You can find drug treatment centers at little or no cost to you through various federal and state government programs. Alternatively, you'll have no trouble finding a center that accepts insurance and cash patients.
Step 2
Visit the Department of Health and Human Services website for low- or no-cost options (see "Resources"). It maintains a state-by-state database of programs and hospitals that offer subsidized or free care for qualifying families. Caring for your chemically dependent mother doesn't mean you must go bankrupt to pay for treatment. She is the patient, so if she has little or no income, there are options for which she can qualify.
Step 3
Search the database available at Medline Plus, an online resource provided by the National Institutes of Health, for local resources and directories of available services in your area (see "Resources").
Step 4
Contact your mother's health insurance provider if she has coverage, and ask them about care for drug dependency. Most policies cover at least 28 days in primary care plus additional time for medical detoxification if it is necessary.
Step 5
Visit several treatment centers before you present the information to your mother. You'll want to find a place that gives her the best chance possible to do the work she'll need to do to recover. You know her better than anyone, before and after the drugs took hold, so choose a place where you think she will be comfortable, with the staff and the other patients.
Step 6
Ask an interventionist from the center to help you confront your mother if that service is provided. An interventionist is a professional drug treatment counselor who specializes in guiding the difficult process of confronting the drug addict. If the service is not offered, gather as many family and friends as you can for support, and set a time to conduct the intervention yourself.
Step 7
Coordinate with your chosen treatment center to be ready to accept your mother as a patient immediately after you conduct your intervention. Some treatment centers are not equipped to handle patients during detox or during initial withdrawal from the drugs. If this is the case, find out where she will need to go prior to admission. Detoxification is dangerous and must be medically supervised. You should never try to care for your drug dependent mother during the detoxification period.
Step 8
Write a letter to your mother and have family and friends who attend the intervention do the same. Take turns reading the letters during the intervention. Reading thoughts composed beforehand helps you stay on track. Tell her the ways in which her drug dependency hurts you. Tell her all the things you love about her that the drugs have taken away. Tell her you love her even now. Ask her to accept help.
Step 9
Write a list of consequences that your mother will face if she chooses not to get help. This could mean you no longer will care for her financially. It might mean that she is no longer allowed to see her grandchildren. Whatever you decide, be ready to enforce the consequences no matter how much it may hurt.
Step 10
Pack a bag for your mother before the intervention. Make any necessary arrangements to care for pets or her house or apartment so that, if she accepts help, you can take her immediately to the center. You don't want her to rationalize changing her mind by waiting until the next day, and you certainly don't want to give her time to take drugs before you go.
Things You'll Need
- Online access
- Health insurance (optional)
- Interventionist (optional)
