One in every four women will experience some type of domestic or partner violence in her life, estimates the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Whether the abuse is physical, sexual or emotional, the mental pain is the same. Unfortunately, if you're being abused, you may realize that the great paradox is that you may still be deeply in love with your abuser. While "fixing" an abusive relationship is difficult, you can attempt it--with a high degree of strength and patience, helping your partner to see the error of his ways.
Step 1
Speak up, suggests Helpguide.org. If your partner is abusing you in any way, tell her how you feel. When both of you are in a calm mood, bring up the topic in an organic way by mentioning your last argument, and how you felt when it was over. Your partner may be unaware of how you feel when she calls you names, belittles you or otherwise abuses you. While that won't immediately fix the problem, a discussion can bring the issue to the forefront of your relationship so you can work on it together.
Step 2
Insist that your partner see a counselor. What you may see as blatant abuse may be the culmination of years of abuse, low self-esteem, control issues or an upsetting history. Counseling, both with your partner and separately, can help you and your partner work through issues that are poisoning your relationship and causing a vicious cycle of abuse. While it's not a no-fail plan, it can help your partner discover better ways to function in a relationship.
Step 3
Improve your own self-esteem so you know that you are worth more than an abusive relationship. Depending on the type of abuse that you sustain, you may mistakenly believe that you deserve to be hurt or degraded in some way. But your low self-esteem could have a bearing on how likely you are to be abused, leading you to feel as though an abusive relationship is all that you deserve, notes MentalHelp.net. Counseling, positive self-affirmations and nurturing your self-worth can help you gain the self-esteem necessary to know you deserve better.
Step 4
Report the abuse to the authorities, urges FindCounseling.com. It's a drastic step, and it can damage your relationship, but it may help your partner to see how badly he is hurting you and how wrong his actions are. Contacting the authorities will give you the protection that you need to get out of the situation safely, if necessary. Some abusers will never "get better" or allow the relationship to become healthy. If you've done what you can, and the abuse continues, tell someone about it and leave the relationship as quickly as possible, however difficult that may be.
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