Birth order, or the order in which your children were born, often can determine aspects of their personalities---and how you parent them. While not every middle child shares the typical behavioral characteristics of being a middle child, there can be a tendency to feel neglected or ignored---because he is not leading the way like his older sibling or requiring as much attention as a younger sibling, according to Parents.com.
Key Characteristics
Middle children often display characteristics unique to their birth order, according to the Child Development Institute. Behaviors associated with a middle child can include saying she feels unloved or unnoticed. Your child may seem to be easily discouraged, but also may be highly adaptable to situations because she is accustomed to handling both older and younger children. Your child also may have an open demeanor and have a large group of friends as a result, according to Parents.com.
Behavior Toward Siblings
Middle children may have a tendency to behave one of two ways toward siblings, according to Parents.com. The first way is to be rebellious or aggressive. This is often a cry for attention from your child. The other way is by becoming a people pleaser. This means your child will do anything for his siblings and often acts as the conflict resolver. However, this behavior can sometimes come at the expense of himself and his own identity.
Punishment Issues
Middle children often feel as if a punishment is the result of her siblings, according to Parents.com. If she is punished, it is because the older child was punished for the same thing or because an example needs to be set for the younger child. In these instances, your child may act out, blaming problems or behavior on siblings. When punishing your middle child, explain the individual reasons why she is being punished---without the mention of a brother or sister.
Consideration
Family size may have something to do with the typical behavior of a middle child, according to the Child Development Institute. For example, a middle child of three may be less competitive than a middle child in a larger family. This is because a middle child in a larger family has to work harder to get attention because there are more children who require a parent's attention.
Solution
Because middle children may share characteristics of both older and younger children, they often work to find their own identity in a family, according to Family Education. To help your child recognize his individual potential, spend as much time as you can alone with your middle child. You also should emphasize the power of choice and independence with your child. Asking lots of questions about what he would like to do can help your middle child establish his identity.
