1. Peer Groups and Social Acceptance
Belonging and feeling connected is a human need. As we develop, we look to find friendships outside the family with people we can relate to who share common interests. At every age in life, we all look for peers with whom to affiliate. In childhood, they are our schoolmates, neighbors, team members, or children that participate in shared activities. In adolescence, the need for affiliation and acceptance magnifies. The pressure to fit in can be extreme and may lead your child to make unhealthy decisions, unless you are there to guide them.
2. How to Get Past "Leave Me Alone"
If you are a parent of a teenager, you have no doubt experienced your child pulling away from you. The push and pull of adolescence is a normal stage of development and it is necessary in order for your child to develop a healthy identity. In the mix of all the pushing and pulling, you may receive a message that your adolescent needs you. It may be difficult for you to intervene, but don't let that happen. All healthy adolescents want limits and boundaries, even if they say they don't. Otherwise, without clear boundaries, they tend to experience anxiety.
3. Conformity vs. Non-Conformity
Every generation wants to experience rebellion and feel that they are different than the previous generation. As each generation develops, they form an identity that symbolizes what they perceive is the values of that generation. Within each generation, there are sub-groups; some of those groups are gangs. Depending on where you live, your child may encounter gang members on a daily basis. Even if they don't encounter gangs, they still need to know how to behave and protect themselves from gang influence.
4. "Group Think" and Pressure
As your child or adolescent affiliates with their peers, the pressure to conform within the group increases. Some of this is harmless behavior and allows your child to experience social acceptance. Some of the behaviors a child or adolescent learns in group are considered "pro-social" or positive. What should concern you as a parent are the behaviors that are risky or dangerous. Groups can formulate what is known as "group think," which occurs as a result of the influence of the group. In this case, the individual may not have thought a certain way before, outside of the group. It is important to teach your child or adolescent how to hold on to family values, say "no" and how to positively respond to pressure. Above all, they must learn how to protect themselves or ask for help if needed.
5. Beyond Peer Pressure
Pressure from peers can lead a child or adolescent to make poor decisions about achievement, drugs, sexuality or crime and can destroy their life. Loving your child unconditionally and letting them know you will help or get help if they go astray is critical. Reinforce to them that they are a unique individual and let them know they are loved and treasured for fitting in along with their differences. Give them self-esteem and self-worth so they have the ability to make right decisions. Teach them trust and give them limits and boundaries so they can learn to trust and be trustworthy. You child or adolescent faces peer pressure every day, so be there for them with loving open arms and help them to be strong.
