Making friends comes natural to some, while others struggle with gaining the interest of new acquaintances. For the shy, speaking to someone for the first time can be an anxiety-inducing experience. But you don't need to struggle to find the right words if you want to make friends with someone you've never talked to. Increase both your comfort level and your chances of making friends.
Making new friends
Step 1
Make yourself approachable, and put down your armor. Many times, you might put up a shield as a defensive mechanism because you want to avoid being rejected by others. Smile and be the first to reach out, both in terms of conversation and shaking the other person's hand or offering a hug--whichever is appropriate, based on the social circumstances.
Step 2
Be a good listener. Everyone likes to talk about themselves. It's rare that you'll find someone who is as good at listening to what others have to say as he is at telling his own life story. By listening patiently and closely, you'll show your would-be friend that you want to know all about him, his background, his personality, goals, struggles and preferences. To quote legendary basketball coach John Wooden, "An effective leader is very good at listening. It is difficult to listen when you're talking."
Step 3
Exude confidence. You might have self-doubt and insecurities, but put those to the side and forge ahead. Confidence is an attractive trait, regardless of whether you are trying to make friends, land a job or score a date. Showing that you're confident in yourself and what you have to offer gives the other person the impression that you're someone worth spending time with.
Step 4
Be self-deprecating. Though it's good to be confident, you don't want to come across as egotistical or cocky. Make jokes at your own expense. Everyone likes people who can laugh at themselves.
Step 5
Stay positive. If the first thing you do when you meet someone new is complain about your job or speak negatively about a mutual friend, they're likely to be turned off. A positive disposition is a trait that most everyone admires, and it shows that you're unlikely to speak negatively about them to others.
Member Comments