High school can be a nightmare for anyone, and that goes double for the creative loner types who prefer to stay away from the crowd. Having close friends in your life offers many benefits, from increased self-confidence to companionship and entertainment. However, figuring out who you can trust and who you can relate to is a time-consuming process that may leave you stranded without someone to talk to after class. But take heart; with self-confidence, a strong sense of self and an unflagging dedication to who you are, you can quickly turn an alienating experience into one of self-cultivation.
Step 1
Boost your confidence by creating a list of all the things that you like about yourself. Include any valuable qualities, such as honesty, creativity and artistic passion. Keep this list taped to your desk or notebook cover, and refer to it during times that you feel left out or lonely.
Step 2
Absorb yourself in extracurricular activities at your school that interest you, such as jazz band, drama club, fencing club, chess club or any sport that you feel physically fit enough to compete in. This participation will open doors to meeting new people in your school that you may relate to while increasing your self-esteem.
Step 3
Sit by yourself during lunch or break time, and engage yourself with a book, magazine or other activity. Be unabashedly yourself, and experience the thrill of independence whenever you feel like being apart from the crowd. Although some of your peers might make fun of you for being a loner, others will secretly admire your confidence and self-worth in doing something they wouldn't dare to do.
Step 4
Ignore the criticism and hurtful opinions of other people. Remember that no one died and made them the judges of who is cool and who isn't. Be your own judge of what is cool, and live up to your own standards.
Step 5
Focus on your schoolwork. As boring as it sounds, your chances of moving on to college and meeting people that you relate to increases dramatically with the grades on your report card. Complete all your homework on time, and earnestly study for each test that you have.
Step 6
Remember that best friends, boyfriends or girlfriends await in your future who will love you for who you are. Do your best to maintain a sense of confidence, and like-minded individuals will gradually be drawn to you.
Tips and Warnings
- When all else fails, consider your current lack of friends a gift. You are learning early on what many people take their entire lives to figure out: how to be content and happy without any friends. The less you worry about how few friendships you have compared to other people, the more likely your chance to find genuine friends who respect and care about you for who you are.
- Tell your parents or guidance counselor if you feel repeatedly depressed or unable to motivate yourself to feel positive about your life situation. Sometimes a chemical imbalance may be the cause of your social anxiety.
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