Clear, open and frequent communication creates an atmosphere that allows family members to express their needs, desires and concerns to one another. Utilizing these skills is necessary to successfully resolve the inevitable problems that arise in all families. Learning effective communication skills will help families become emotionally closer and more satisfied with their relationships.
Building Effective Family Communication
Spending more quality time together is key to positive communication. Finding time in today's busy world for meaningful conversations can be challenging. Talking during routine activities, such as car rides, meals and family gatherings can help. Providing opportunities for family members to learn about and express important issues that affect your family is important.
With greater frequency of communication, you may find that the instances of conflict increase. If the conversations become negative too often, consider professional counseling. According to the Virginia Cooperative Extension of Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University, healthy married couples have five positive interactions for every one negative interaction. Positive communication involves paying attention to others' thoughts and feelings and participating in the conversations by complimenting and encouraging one another.
Instrumental vs. Affective Communication
Most families operate well when discussing factual information but falter when discussing emotions. Healthy families communicate well in both arenas. The terms experts use when referring to these communication types are instrumental and affective. Instrumental communication refers to the factual messages that allow families to complete everyday family functions, for example, discussing extracurricular activity transportation. Affective communication refers to the exchange of family members' emotions, for example, a child feeling angry that her parent does not regularly attend her soccer games.
Nonverbal Communication
Families that are building communication skills should pay attention to their body language. People perceive messages more often from body language than from words. Thirty-eight percent of our attitudes and beliefs are expressed by tone of voice, and 55 percent by our facial expressions, according to "Psychology Today." Only about 7 percent of the messages we send and perceive are transmitted through verbal language.
Clear and Direct Communication
Communication problems often arise from indirect and unclear communication. Healthy families communicate their thoughts and feelings sincerely and avoid being passive-aggressive or dishonest. This is especially important when attempting to solve interpersonal problems. Indirect and vague messages will not accomplish goals and will block intimacy and trust between family members. Parents should provide a safe communication environment that rewards openness and honesty when expressing thoughts and feelings, according to the Virginia Cooperative Extension at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University.
Communicating with Children
When communicating with young children, it is important for adults to listen carefully to what the children are saying because the maturity level of children may prevent them from understanding complex feelings, ideas or information.
Poor Communication
Poor communication is almost always found in unhealthy family relationships, which can lead to numerous family problems, including conflict, poor problem solving and lack of intimacy. If family members are attacked or otherwise not allowed to express themselves safely, they learn to avoid, mislead and lie when communicating with others to circumvent conflict and challenging conversations, according to Leon F. Seltzer, Ph.D.
