Unfortunately, most families are not like those you see on television. Even though your family may be full of love, it is not uncommon for siblings to fight, especially sisters. As a parent, you may find it difficult to deal with conflict and jealousy between your daughters, but it is perfectly normal. There are many things you can do to diffuse the situation and also prevent conflict from arising.
Identification
According to the University of Michigan Health System, sibling rivalry among sisters is jealousy, competition and fighting between your daughters. This is a problem for almost all parents after the birth of the second daughter. Your older daughter is used to having you as the parent exclusively to herself. Conflicts range from small issues like who gets to sit in the front seat of the car, to deep inner-emotional troubles your daughters may feel about one getting more attention than the other. This may result in bickering as well as physical fighting.
Features
North Dakota State University says that most sisters have had the experience of being good friends as well as good enemies while growing up. Because they are so close, they have the ability to make each other angry, sad or upset better than anyone else. Usually after arguments, siblings go back to loving each other and playing together; therefore, they learn that words and actions don't cost them the relationship or friendship, allowing them to speak freely without fear of losing the other.
Causes of Conflict
Conflict arises from many things. One common cause is competition. The University of Michigan Health Services says that each girl is trying to define herself. She wants to demonstrate her talents and interests and show that she is different from her sister. They may also feel like they are getting unequal amounts of attention and/or discipline. North Dakota State University also contends that children live in a society that tells them winning is better, which fosters competition, resentment and jealousy. The Hillsborough County Board of County Commissioners and the University of Florida says that conflict between sisters may come from outside sources. Your daughter may have a tough day at school or have a conflict with a friend and may take her aggression out on her sister just because she is an easy target.
Prevention
As a parent, there are several things you can do to prevent conflict between your daughters. The Hillsborough County Board of County Commissioners and the University of Florida suggests discouraging tattling, avoiding comparisons of the girls, and listening to both sides of a dispute. While you should actively foster bonding, also make sure that each child has her own space and encourage separate time. Never play favorites. Even if you think you aren't, you may be subconsciously choosing one child over the other and it is important to make sure that neither feel that you favor the other. You should also encourage them to settle disputes on their own.
Benefits
Believe it or not, there is some good that can come from conflict and jealousy between sisters. A certain amount of rivalry can teach your daughters how to balance competition and learn rituals of making up, including apologizing and forgiving. It also provides experience for learning relationship skills and being a part of a social network.
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