The way family members interact with one another plays an integral role in the mental and emotional development of children. Verbal communication and nonverbal queues help shape the family environment. Each family member has their own way of communicating with those around them, and may communicate differently with different people. Because of this, the way your family communicates may differ greatly from the communication style of another family. Effective family communication incorporates instrumental and affective communication. Communicators may use clear, masked, direct or indirect communication, and have varying levels of assertiveness.
Instrumental
Instrumental communication in families involves relaying factual information to one another. According to information on family communication from Virginia Tech, an example of this may be telling your child when and where you will pick him up after school. Effective instrumental communication in families is essential for making sure each person in the family is aware of important facts on a daily basis. A family with weak instrumental communication skills may have misunderstandings over appointment, meal or bed times.
Affective
Affective communication involves expressing emotions within the family. An environment with strong affective communication allows each family member to openly express their emotions in a positive and appropriate way. Some families may struggle with affective communication because of the emotionality involved. In these situations, parents may discourage their children from expressing emotions, such as crying, because they believe it represents weakness or emotional frailty. However, affective communication is essential to a healthy family environment and allows each family member the freedom to express themselves openly.
Intent And Direction
You communicate clearly when you say exactly what you mean to say. Clear communication involves getting the point across in a way that others can accurately understand. Conversely, when you are communicating in a way that doesn't get your point across clearly, you are using masked communication. In addition, direct and indirect communication may be used. When you speak your thought to the person it was intended for, you are using direct communication. You are using indirect communication if you are speaking to someone other than that person. Using clear and direct communication gets your point across accurately and effectively.
Assertiveness
Your individual level of assertiveness affects your communication style and the communication style of your family. You may notice that each member of your family has their own level of assertiveness. Passive people tend to be quiet and keep their thoughts to themselves, and may feel that their thoughts are less valuable than others. They may have difficulty with affective communication because they repress their emotions. Aggressive people are more boisterous about their feelings and opinions, and feel that their thoughts or feelings are more important than those of others. If you are assertive, you may voice your opinions decidedly, but in a respectful and appropriate manner. Being assertive means that you have struck a balance, and you respect your thoughts and feelings as well as those of other people.
