Helping a child who suffers from mental illness or a behavioral disorder is never easy, but it can be done. Parents face the challenge of being compassionate yet firm, listening to and making a sincere effort to understand the child but setting clear consequences for bad behavior. Some families require professional intervention to get or keep their lives on track. The goal is to maintain harmony among parents, troubled children and their siblings while helping the child forge a life worth living.
Step 1
Outline clear rules and consequences, and stick to them. Even when they rebel against the rules, children need to know the boundaries beyond which parents, teachers and caregivers cannot be pushed. Consistency in enforcing rules with the troubled child and his siblings shows you are serious as well as fair.
Step 2
Spend time alone with the child participating in activities you both enjoy. Create an environment in which the child feels comfortable discussing her problems with you. Schedule a regular date when she knows she will have your undivided attention.
Step 3
Schedule an appointment with a pediatrician. Physical illness and mental illness sometimes look alike, so it is important that your child has a full medical workup. If your physician determines nothing is wrong physically, she can refer you to a psychiatrist or child psychologist.
Step 4
Ask the child what he needs from you, and listen carefully and nonjudgmentally. If your child is miserable in school and begs to go to a different one, take him seriously and look into it. If he feels isolated because he has no peers with similar interests, search for after-school clubs or activities where he can meet new friends.
Step 5
Take threats of suicide or violence to others very seriously, and respond to them immediately. If your child is giving away possessions, losing interest in formerly pleasurable activities, hiding in her room or crying frequently, don't be afraid to ask her if she's thinking of hurting herself. If she seems uncomfortable talking about it with you, schedule an appointment with a counselor as soon as possible. In the case of a severely depressed child, what you don't know could hurt you.
