After the loss of a child, grieving parents often feel like they'll never return to any sense of normalcy. The despair can be so great as to make simple tasks like eating or getting out of bed feel too difficult. Working through grief will require the support of family, friends and perhaps professionals. While parents will never fully get over the loss of a child, they can emerge to a "new normal" in which the loss is bearable.
Effects
Feelings after the death of a child can include great anxiety, deep despair, anger at yourself and others in your family or a cloudy, confused state in which you are unable to concentrate on any tasks, according to grief support network The Compassionate Friends. Parents who lose children often cry more than people who lose other relations, according to the British Medical Journal. Mothers often face more difficulty with feeling helpless or unable to cope, while fathers can feel ignored or forced to suppress their grief in order to be the family's rock.
Process
Grieving a lost child is a process you can't rush, but you should look as it not as stages but as tasks to complete, according to the Sudden Infant Death Syndrome Resource Center. You'll need to overcome denial and be able to face the reality that your child will not come back, usually through talking about your loss to others. You'll have to indulge in and work through your pain, not avoid it. You'll have to adapt to your new schedule without your child. Eventually, you'll have to move on, though you shouldn't expect to ever be the same as you were before the child's death, according to The Compassionate Friends.
Solutions
Talking about your child to others, including acknowledging moments and milestones you'll never get to experience again, will help you work through your grief, according to the SIDS Resource Center. You might find comfort in making memorials for your child, keeping a journal or admiring the artistic expressions of your child. Staying physically active and maintaining a healthy diet also will help you work through grief. The Compassionate Friends network recommends sharing experiences with others who have lost a child and already have developed the coping skills that you'll need.
Support
If you need to offer comfort to a grieving parent, the SIDS Resource Center recommends listening to the parent without offering any advice on what she should do or how she should feel. Supportive friends should use the child's name and ask to see photos and other memorabilia of the child. Remembering events like the child's birthday and offering to donate toward any memorials also can bring comfort to the parent. It's also appropriate to cry with the parent if you feel so moved.
Warning
Sadness from grief can be strong enough for you to entertain thoughts of suicide, according to The Compassionate Friends. The stress of losing a child also can put a strain on your marriage and your relationship with other children in your family. If you feel unable to cope on your own, you can seek help through professional counseling, religious organizations or parent support groups.
