Making the decision to have a baby via a surrogate mother is a choice that will ultimately affect a lot of people. Because of the delicacy of the situation, it can take a toll on everyone's emotions. There are things to consider including the feelings of the surrogate, her family, the unborn child and the new parents and their family.
Significance
When a couple or individual is unable to have a child on their own, they may choose surrogacy as a method of having a baby. There are several ways this can be done. The most common is having an embryo of both parents placed inside the surrogate's womb. Other methods can be used such as implanting the biological father's sperm to fertilize with the surrogate's egg or using sperm and egg from an anonymous donor. Surrogacy is illegal in many areas of the U.S. and doesn't have any legal power in many others. It is important to check with the Human Rights Campaign to see if your state permits surrogacy legally. All of these issues can affect the emotional well-being of everyone involved.
Causes
Emotional issues can arise because of attachment. The surrogate can develop a close bond to the unborn baby and feel devastated when she has to hand the child over at birth. Because of the laws in many states, surrogacy is similar to adoption in that the surrogate is often recognized as the birth mother and can still change her mind about handing the child over to the birth parents, says Psychology Today. If she decides to keep the baby, the parents will also lose any money they have invested into care for the surrogate mother.
Considerations
If the surrogacy goes through as planned and the baby is adopted by his new parents, there can still be emotional issues. Even though the adoptive mom did not give birth, she still will experience a myriad of feelings that come along with being a new mother. The Adoptions Issues website explains that a common emotional problem is post-adoption depression or PADS. These symptoms include feeling depressed and emotionally overwhelmed, and sometimes angry and resentful. A surrogate who gave birth may suffer from postpartum depression, which can be severe and may require medical attention.
Misconceptions
Many people have a rosy picture of automatic happiness all round when the baby is finally born. However, if you are working through an agency that specializes in surrogacy, you may experience problems if the agency does not have an effective screening program. You might be disappointed in the health of the baby. You may have to cope with continuing legal issues pertaining to the adoption, or the surrogate may even refuse to give up the child.
Solutions
Resolve, The National Fertility Association suggests that everyone involved in a surrogacy should have a mental screening before the process to assure they are mentally able to cope with the problems associated with surrogacy. This includes meeting with a licensed behavioral therapist who will determine if you can handle someone else carrying your child, if you have exhausted all other fertility options and how you will explain the surrogacy to your family and the child.
