Finding trustworthy friends can help you feel secure, accepted and give you an important emotional support network, explain relationship authors Marla Paul and Jan Yager. In order to find friends worthy of your trust, be picky about who you choose to befriend. Socialize with people that share your values and interests and treat you and other with respect, courtesy and honesty. In return, be a trustworthy friend yourself and you may have the makings of a lasting relationship.
Step 1
Join value-oriented groups. In "The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore," author Marla Paul suggests seeking out new people that share your interests and values. For example, volunteer at a women's shelter, take a college course or join a parenting group or religious organization.
Step 2
Work from your current circle of friends. If you already have a few trustworthy friends, author and mental health columnist Therese J. Borchard suggests that you work your way into their larger social circle. Networking with current friends can help you evaluate friends' trustworthiness before you form strong bonds.
Step 3
Look for new friends everywhere, but trust your intuition. When you're looking for trustworthy friends, use all of your outings---even trips to the supermarket---as an opportunity to find new friends, advise Roger and Sally Horchow in "The Art of Friendship." The authors suggest evaluating each new acquaintance to look for common interests, habits and trusting your impulses on each person's character and friendship potential.
Step 4
Assess friends' behaviors. As you're getting to know a new friend, think about how he behaves in social situations. If he treats others well, behaves respectfully and follows through on your plans, he may prove to be a trustworthy friend. If he behaves in ways that are not congruent with your values, however, psychologist Jan Yager suggests moving on to individuals who are more trustworthy.
References
- "The Friendship Crisis: Finding, Making, and Keeping Friends When You're Not a Kid Anymore"; Marla Paul; 2005
- "The Art of Friendship: 70 Simple Rules for Making Meaningful Connections"; Roger Horchow and Sally Horchow; 2006
- "When Friendship Hurts: How to Deal With Friends Who Betray, Abandon, or Wound You"; Jan Yager; 2002
- BeliefNet: 13 Ways to Make Friends
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