There are few things as devastating as the death of a baby during pregnancy. Stillbirth is a nightmare for expectant parents. Fortunately, most practitioners now understand how vital compassion and support are for parents experiencing perinatal loss. Allowing and encouraging parents to see and hold their stillborn baby is now a standard of care and is recognized as beneficial to grieving. Nonetheless, the appearance of the stillborn baby sometimes provokes mixed emotions. Parents can feel shock, confusion, guilt, grief, love and anxiety, often simultaneously.
Delivery
Gestational age, the presence of underlying problems and length of time between death and delivery can all affect the appearance of a stillborn baby. The pressure of delivery, routine procedures and obstetric instruments can all potentially leave marks. The absence of muscle tone in a lifeless baby makes it more difficult for a woman to push and for the practitioner to deliver. No matter how gentle the care, or what the mode of delivery, the fragile tissue of a stillborn baby is vulnerable to compromise.
Natural Changes
Often, what appear as bruises are actually caused by natural changes which occur after death. The stillborn baby's skin may look dusky, mottled, purple, blue, gray or even reddish-black, depending on gestational age and the length of time that has elapsed since death. Observable signs of decomposition are very hard for parents to accept. It is a normal grief response to attribute discoloration to ordinary bruising. Mothers in particular often feel intense doubt, anxiety and guilt, wondering if they harmed the baby.
Mongolian Spots
A stillborn baby who was reached the end of the third trimester may be born with Mongolian Spots. MedlinePlus explains that these dark, pigmented areas of skin often appear on babies with African, Asian or Indian ancestry. Mongolian spots are most often found on the buttocks, back and legs, and strongly resemble bruises. However, they are a normal occurrence caused by deposits of pigmented cells called melanocytes that are visible under the skin.
Unknown
One of the most difficult parts of experiencing stillbirth are the unanswerable questions which arise from trying to make logical sense of a senseless and illogical tragedy. Accepting the unknown is agonizing in the context of losing a child. A February 2004 article published in the "Journal of Family Nursing" explains that a lack of support following perinatal loss can heighten and complicate grief. It is so important for parents to seek and accept support in their bereavement.
