The journey to adulthood is difficult for children, and will be marked by many problems. As a parent or caretaker, it is your responsibility to teach your child how to behave. Take advantages of principles of child psychology to maximize the effectiveness of behavior modification strategies and to minimize any distress to your child.
Focus
As a parent or caretaker, your focus should be on the child's tangible behaviors, not his attitudes or interpretations, according to the BB Autism Online Support Network. A child is far more capable of controlling his behavior than his attitudes, and focusing on behavior makes your standards clear to a child. Behavior is defined as actions that you can see or hear.
Attitude
Your attitude toward the modification of your child's behavior should be generally positive, stresses the Family Education Network. Get your child's full attention by facing him and making eye contact. Avoid interrupting him if possible. Speak to him about his behavior only; avoid using labels such as "bad boy" or attributing ulterior motives to him. Likewise, you should avoid labeling him a "good boy" if his behavior is desirable, because this will be seen as conditioning your love on his behavior, resulting in personal insecurity in the child.
Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a way of encouraging good behavior without relying on praise and blame. Promise your child a reward for good behavior and follow through if her behavior meets your standards. Make your standards specific enough for her to clearly understand what she must do to get the reward. Appeal to her self-interest; focus on the benefit she will gain by meeting your standards, instead of whether her behavior is good or bad, counsels Jane Bluestein, chief executive officer of Instructional Support Services. To the greatest extent possible, never fail to follow through with a reward if her behavior meets your standards.
Discipline
At some point, positive reinforcement will fail and you will have to resort to discipline. When this happens, rely on withholding privileges and other positive consequences. It is important that you warn your child of the consequences for unacceptable behavior in advance and follow thorough every time without exception. You should also leave the possibility open for reversal if his behavior changes.
Skill Deficits
In some cases, your child may be simply unable to comply with your demands because she lacks the skills to comply. This is particularly likely to occur in social interactions or when a child is overwhelmed with a negative emotion, such as fear. It is important to realize when your child is unable to comply, and to respond to her failure by teaching her instead of disciplining her, according to Judith Osgood Smith of Purdue University.
References
- Instructional Support Services, Inc: Behavior Management--Intervention Strategies
- BBB Autism Online Support Network: Behavior Management Strategies to Use Every Day
- "Psychology Today"; Time Out--Time and Child Behavior Management; Jean Mercer, Ph.D.; July 2009
- LD Online: Behavior Management--Getting to the Bottom of Social Skills Deficits
- Back to School with Family Education: Using Positive Reinforcement
