Trying to help a younger child come to terms with the death of a loved one can be challenging, especially if you are also grieving. Your child's life experience, age, personality and relationship to the deceased will go a long way in determining how he copes and how you help him. For an older children who understand life and death more clearly, a shoulder to cry on may be all he needs. If your child is under 10, special care must be taken to ensure that he can make sense of it all. Following some basic guidelines will help you both deal with your grief.
Step 1
Speak openly and honestly about what has happened, and encourage her to ask questions. Let her know that there is no right or wrong way to feel and that she may feel many different emotions as the days progress.
Step 2
Explain the situation in basic terms to younger children, up to about 6 years old, because they are very literal in their thinking, according to the Kids Health website. Let him know that dead means the body just isn't working anymore. Compare it to a machine or something else he can relate to if it helps him understand.
Step 3
Avoid using euphemisms such as went away or sleeping to soften the impact for younger children. It may create a phobia in her literal mind that will cause her to believe that others who are actually sleeping or traveling somewhere may never return.
Step 4
Repeat and reiterate the fact that your loved one isn't going to be coming back, advises the National Network for Child Care. Children often view death as being reversible and sometimes need regular reminders of the reality of the situation.
Step 5
Show patience as the days progress. Monitor his behavior to determine if professional counseling is necessary. Any violent or destructive behavior, refusal to socialize or progressive decline in school should be addressed promptly.
Step 6
Re-establish household routines as soon as possible, advises the Parenting Exchange. Getting meals, sleep, play activities and school back to normal will help her feel a sense of normalcy in a stressful situation.
Tips and Warnings
- Share any spiritual beliefs your family has about the death early on to help your kids make peace with what has happened.
