With the challenges of growing up, it's no wonder kids get angry sometimes as they face strong emotions like frustration, disappointment and dislike. But while anger is normal and healthy, violent reactions from that anger--like hitting, yelling or biting--aren't. Teaching your child how to recognize her anger and deal with it appropriately is an important part of helping your child grow up to be a responsible adult.
Be a Role Model
One of the best ways to show your child how to manage his anger is to manage your own anger well, says Michelle Borba, child development expert and author of the book "Building Moral Intelligence: The Seven Essential Virtues That Teach Kids to Do the Right Thing." According to Borba, talking to your child about how you manage your anger can help him deal more effectively with his own anger. For instance, if you get an erroneous overdraft charge from the bank, you can say, "Wow, I'm really mad about this incorrect charge. I need to take a deep breath and calm down for a minute before I call the bank."
Use Books
Books can be a great starting point to a conversation about dealing with anger, according to the Florida Department of Education. Choose books where characters have to deal with strong feelings, like "Lilly and the Purple Plastic Purse" or "Ramona and Beezus," and encourage your child to talk about what's happening in the story. Ask her to identify what made a character angry or how she could tell that the character in the story was upset. Talk about how the character acted, and come up with alternative ways she could have handled the situation. Your child can draw on the same techniques next time she's angry.
Encourage Recognition
Kids can deal better with their anger when they realize that they're angry, so teaching your child to recognize his anger signals is important. An angry child may feel hot or sweaty, feel his heart beating very fast or feel his breathing get hard and fast. You can help your child by pointing these things out and helping him identify them as anger--say something like, "Your face is getting red and you're talking really fast--are you angry?" Once your child recognizes that he's angry, he can calm down by taking deep breaths or moving away from the upsetting situation for a few minutes.
