Making friends and influencing others hinges on how you interact with people. "Your level of communication mastery in the external world will determine your level of success with others--personally, emotionally, socially, and financially," says motivational speaker and life coach Anthony Robbins. If you're outgoing, feel sure of yourself, respect others and shine the spotlight on them, you'll make friends quickly and easily and more than likely get them to see your point of view much of the time.
Step 1
Explore your passions. Whether you're a golf fanatic, a bookworm or an avid gardener, fully participate in the things that bring you joy and a sense of purpose. You'll not only meet people who share your interests, but you'll be interesting--and interesting people attract friends and admirers.
Step 2
Express interest in the people you meet. Actively listen and also encourage them by giving them feedback and asking follow-up questions. "Active listening is an attempt to grasp and understand the facts and the underlying feelings of what is being said," says Nicholas Boothman, author of "How to Make People Like You in 90 Days or Less!" When you actively listen, you give the other person your full attention and show both interest and empathy.
Step 3
Create a rapport with individuals by finding out what you have in common and exploring those aspects together. If you learn that someone enjoys skiing and you do as well, invite him to the slopes for the day. If you love to discuss politics as much as a new acquaintance, invite her to a talk by a local politician.
Step 4
Tell people you're thankful for their presence in your life and that you appreciate them. Showing appreciation can be as simple as sending a thank-you card, acknowledging something a person's done for you or giving a gift. When people feel appreciated, they feel acknowledged--and liked.
Step 5
Show others that you're confident and self-assured, which will help win you friends as well as influence them. "You can't just put on the face of confidence for the competition--or for the meeting or party or the date. You have to feel confidence pulsing through your veins," says Leil Lowndes, author of "How to Be a People Magnet." If confidence doesn't come naturally to you, role-play with a couple of friends until you feel more self-assured, or strike up conversations with people you don't find intimidating.
Step 6
Influence others by stating your wants and needs clearly, or exerting "push energy," says Alan A. Vengel, author of "The Influence Edge: How to Persuade Others to Help You Achieve Your Goals." When you're assertive about your wants or needs--without being aggressive--you can often persuade others to meet those wants and needs.
Member Comments