An estimated five million Americans are adopted, according to the Adoption History Project at the University of Oregon. In 2010, fewer than half of all adoptions are closed, meaning that the parents and birth child have no contact. In 1971, laws were created to advocate for adopted people who wanted access to their adoption records. Although no such laws have been passed in favor of birth parents, registries and adoption agencies are willing to contact your birth child to help set up a reunion.
Step 1
Search for your birth child on the Adoption Reunion Registry at Adoption.com. If you have the child's name, you can use the quick search function. The advanced search function allows you to search by birthplace, date and gender. You can also indicate from a drop-down window that you are searching for an adoptee.
Step 2
Sign up on different adoption registries. Go to Adoption.com's Adoption Reunion Registry. On the Register page, fill out a form about yourself and the person you wish to locate. Putting yourself on the registry allows your birth child to contact you when he wishes. The Adoption Database Registry charges a small fee for signing up ($10 as of 2010). The fee ensures that your contact information is updated if you move or acquire a new phone number or email address.
Step 3
Call your adoption agency. Many adoption agencies retain contact with birth parents and children and agree to set up reunions when the desire is mutual. If you can't remember what agency you used, go to the Administration for Children & Families National Foster Care & Adoption Directory Search website. Choose your state from the scroll-down menu, and select "Accessing Adoption Records" from the list of categories.
Step 4
Register on the International Soundex Reunion Registry. The ISRR is an organization that helps families reunite. Download an application and mail it back to the organization.
Step 5
Hire an Independent Search Consultant. According to Shea's Search Series, ISCs are specifically trained in adoption searches, and many offer a "no find, no fee" option. A private investigator can help find a birth child as well. Though they are not trained specifically in adoption searches, their fees may be lower. Before you hire a P.I., be sure the firm is licensed and bonded, and request to work with a contract that outlines the fee structure.
Tips and Warnings
- It's possible that your child's name was changed after she was adopted. Looking for her by name on the Internet can waste a lot of time. Some states have amended laws to allow identifying information to be shared between birth parents and adopted, adult-age children when both parties are willing to meet. The Administration for Children & Families also provides resources to adoptees and parents who put children up for adoption. Go to the National Foster Care & Adoption Directory Search website, choose your state from the scroll-down menu and choose "Foster Care and Adoption Resources in Your State or Territory" from the category list.
- Your biological child may not even know he is adopted. Be sure the agency that helps organize your reunion has experience handling these situations.
