Having a family is an intense and emotional journey and deciding whether to have children biologically, through adoption, or both, may lead to some questions. Getting answers to those questions and determining what's important to your family can help in the decision-making process.
Families With Biological Children
Parents who chose to build their family by having biological children have a distinct physical bond with them. Anticipating the baby throughout nine months of pregnancy and the eventual birth of their child are tremendously powerful avenues of bonding. Biological siblings may or may not also have similar physical and personality traits to each other and their parents.
Families With Adopted Children
Parents who build their family through adoption develop an emotional bond with their child over time and the amount of time it takes to form that bond can vary greatly. The timeline for their child's arrival can vary as well, depending on the type of adoption. If the adoptive parents are chosen by the birth mother, they may only wait a few months, however, if adopting internationally or through a state agency, the wait can be months or possibly years.
Families With Adopted and Biological Children
Common concerns some parents have are whether they will love their adopted child as much as their biological child and if siblings will have close relationships. According to parents at Adoption.com, the answer is "Yes." Sibling rivalry can exist in any family dynamic and one study in "Child Welfare" showed that family relationships were normal and not negatively affected by the adoption. According to Debra G. Smith of the National Adoption Information Clearinghouse, many issues are simply sibling issues that occur normally in families all over the world, not just adoptive families.
Bonding
Bonding with your child is important regardless of how the family is being made. According to Christine Adamec and William Pierce, Ph.D., bonding includes touch, holding, cuddling and caring for the child. Partly due to the increased care required by infants, bonding with an infant occurs very quickly. Bonding with an older adopted child can occur through activities such as cooking together, playing games or sports, watching movies, or listening to music together. Doing things together that the child enjoys shows her that you are interested in her as a person and what she cares about.
Nature vs. Nurture
In 1999, the Minnesota Center for Twin and Family Research began a study of more than 600 families, 400 of which included both adopted and biological children. This ongoing study of nature vs. nurture will follow these children over time, with results being revealed as data allows. Data already available has shown that there is no psychological difference between adopted and biological children. This means that despite earlier predictions, adopted children do not have a higher incidence of emotional problems than their siblings who are biologically related to the parents. The study also shows that adopted children are just as close to their parents as the biological children are and they also have close relationships to their siblings.
