Military families face unique challenges, from frequent moves and limited finances to extended deployments. Nurturing and maintaining a healthy family and home life in the midst of these challenges can seem daunting. Simple choices, however, can help you and your family both to survive these challenges and to thrive in military life.
Prioritize Family
In the midst of moving, deployment and other challenges and transitions of military life, choose to prioritize family time and relationships. For example, Lissa McGrath in "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life as a Military Spouse," recommends staying in regular communication during deployment with weekly family visits over webcam or by phone.
Stay Mission-Minded
Draw up a family mission statement, recommends Stephen R. Covey in "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families," to help you remember what your family is all about. You can do this in creative ways, such as having each child draw a picture or write a story about the mission of your family as a military family and about each person's unique and important role in that mission.
Choose Consistency
Consistent home routines, such as play days and family nights, can help your family to weather your constantly changing circumstances. McGrath stresses that "consistency is the key to a happy child." She recommends that you maintain consistent boundaries and discipline for children even during times of upheaval, such as deployment.
Resolve Conflict
Focus on family-oriented solutions, suggests Covey, when dealing with conflict among family members. Choosing solutions that care for the concerns of each person helps to encourage family unity. For example, ask your children for creative ideas about how to make a move as stress-free as possible for the whole family, and then seek to implement their suggestions together.
Enjoy Differences
As much as possible, embrace the different interests, passions and pursuits of each family member, including your spouse. Covey stresses that celebrating differences is crucial for building family unity. For example, plan a family vacation during R&R that reflects every member's interests and desires, like surfing, sightseeing and relaxing.
Honor Traditions
Honor family traditions consistently, even if you must adopt creative measures to do so during times of deployment. McGrath recommends webcam chats and video clips as ways to continue traditions when one spouse is away. For example, you might film your children decorating the Christmas tree, and then send the video with the next care package.
Find Community
Find ways to connect with both military and non-military families in your community. McGrath suggests locating a local Family Readiness Group, which hosts regular meetings and events. Local churches and community groups, such as the Boys and Girls Clubs of America, also provide opportunities for your family to develop friendships with other families.
References
- "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Life as a Military Spouse"; Lissa McGrath; 2008
- "Seven Habits of Highly Effective Families"; Stephen R. Covey; 1998
- Military.com: Military Spouse Family Support
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