How to Train Children to Sleep
Overview
Parents dream of a long, uninterrupted night of sleep---it's an even bigger dream if you've got a newborn on your hands. But you don't have to wait until your child goes off to college to get a good night's rest. You can train your infant or toddler get to sleep and stay asleep for the night using the method that works best for your child.
Sleep is very important for children. Without enough, they'll be too drowsy during the day for play, exercise and even to pay attention to schoolwork. Establishing good sleep habits early will benefit your child throughout his entire life, but you've got to find the right sleep training method that works for you and your child--and stick with your plan.
Step 1
Make a bedtime routine. This is one of the most important aspects to getting your baby to go to sleep and sleep through the night. Allow time for relaxation rather than stimulating play. Maybe give your child a warm bath, then snuggle up for some reading or cuddle time.
Step 2
Don't wait for children to fall asleep before putting them to bed. You want your baby or young child to learn that you fall asleep in bed---and if you wake up there, you fall back asleep. You don't have to wait to put your child to bed until he's already asleep. Instead, get your baby nice and relaxed and sleepy, then let him fall asleep in bed.
Step 3
Stay strong at bedtime. No matter how much your little one may plead, cry and wail until you come pick him up and comfort him, running into the room each time he whimpers isn't going to help him learn to sleep. If your toddler comes out of the bedroom and finds you, it's important to be straightforward in dealing with the child. Pick him up, carry him back to his room, put him back in bed and walk out---don't indulge in conversation or cuddling as a reward for him getting out of bed.
Step 4
Be consistent and keep at it. Although it's difficult not to give in to your crying, pitiful child---and you may have to put your child back to bed time after time after time---don't give up. Stick with your plan and know that your training will pay off in better behavior and a better night's sleep from your child.
Step 5
Consider the "cry it out" method. Sometimes called the Ferber method, this sleep training method teaches your baby how to self-soothe and fall asleep on his own. Starting around four-months old, a healthy baby should learn to calm himself down and fall asleep even when he's upset. The Ferber method allows parents to comfort a child with only pats on the back at certain time intervals, but doesn't allow picking up or feeding the child. The time between those comfort moments is gradually stretched out, teaching baby how to soothe himself and eliminating the need for the parents' intervention.
Step 6
Weigh the risks of co-sleeping. Although parents may find that sharing a bed with their baby offers comfort, more sleep and family bonding, it's not generally considered safe. Even if some parents may find that their babies sleep better and longer when sharing the family bed, the Nemours Foundation says there's a greater risk that the baby may be suffocated or strangled, and hundreds of deaths have been reported from co-sleeping.
Tips and Warnings
- There's no particular rule or guaranteed way to get your child to sleep, but keep trying until you find a solution that helps your child sleep through the night. Try treating your child for sleeping through the night---offer a sticker or small toy as a reward and incentive.
- Talk to your doctor if you suspect there may be an illness or medical reason why your child isn't sleeping through the night.
Things You'll Need
- Books Soothing music Timer or watch
References
About this Author
Diana Rodriguez is a Louisville, Ky. based full-time freelance writer who specializes in health and real estate writing. In more than three years as a freelancer, she has produced hundreds of articles that have been published on news and health Web sites. She also specializes in custom Web content for a variety of businesses. She has degrees in journalism and French from Miami
Member Comments
by cbelonogoff on November 3, 2009 at 6:59 AM
Food for Thought: Perhaps our parenting choices are better made based on sound evidenced-based information instead of the pop-culture short article written by a freelancer whose interests lie in health and real estate - hardly an expert witness. Fear mongering of parents and families is rampant in our society. We need a better way than - "let your baby cry it out" or "you will kill your baby if you sleep with them". Neither choice is very good and or completely true.
by Blackchurch on November 3, 2009 at 7:57 AM
"hundreds of deaths have been reported from co-sleeping"
Talk about pseudo science, we need to ask the incredibly important questions such as, over what period of time was this study done? Were the parents under the influence? Did the parent or child have any prior medical issues? I could go on at length. Although some of these ideas have some validity others are highly questionable. Finally, it's obvious the author doesn't have a child...
by barefootchica on November 3, 2009 at 8:32 AM
I guess my kids are a little odd as they need(ed) absolutely NO "training" whatsoever to go to sleep... They just go to sleep when they are tired. It may be after nursing or while in bed with me, but I am so confused as to why it is wrong to comfort your children at bedtime! Cuddling with my girls sure does feel good to me too! Why is it suddenly okay to ignore your baby's cry, his/her only means of communication, when it's nighttime? My gosh, do we really need to push for independence at such a young age? Really???
by deltajohnson on November 3, 2009 at 9:04 AM
I was shocked this article is posted on Livestrong. Why on earth would I not hold and cuddle and love my baby through the night? Infants and toddlers need as much support and love from their parents during the night as they do during the day, and it helps to build their sense of trust and security. If my 18 month old wakes during the night, I hold him and nurse him and he falls asleep within minutes, both of us snuggled and warm and together. Fortunately, many parents today realize Diana Rodriguez's way of thinking is misguided, and indeed harmful to a small child's trust in his/her parents for support. If you are a new parent, don't listen Rodriguez or any other "sleep trainer", instead love and hold and bond with your child as much in the night as you do in the day - they'll be off to college before you know it, and those baby years will never come back.
by bnicol53 on November 3, 2009 at 9:23 AM
3 children, 2 grandchildren (1 more on the way): First child I followed alot of these suggestions. He screamed periodically through the night for months. Very difficult to get him to go to sleep on his own. When I brought the 2nd one home, I told my husband that he had a choice: both of us, or neither of us. He took both of us. The younger 2 learned to go to sleep on their own much more easily than the first. They did sleep with us for parts of the night for a long time, true. But, we were all far more rested and happy in the end.
My own experience tells me to agree with the other responders: love them, comfort them, cuddle and snuggle and give them a strong sense of security early on. And, when it's time to separate and grow independent, they will. Bond with them while you can, before they grown up.
by gogogrrl on November 3, 2009 at 9:52 AM
What the hell? This article is terrible. Babies don't follow plans like this - and talk about self-indulgent. If you have children, you give up sleep for a good two years until they naturally learn to go to sleep on their own in their own space. It's better to love them through the process. And I'm not even going to get into the dangers of the author's purported claims about the dangers of cosleeping. It's 2009, let's move past the scare tactics. Perhaps this author should stick to real estate writing.
by mamanyman on November 3, 2009 at 10:12 AM
Regarding the author's assertion that "hundreds of deaths have been reported from co-sleeping", she conveniently left out the fact that thousands of crib deaths are reported EVERY YEAR!
There are usually other factors in co-sleeping deaths such as a low-birthweight/premature baby, other children in the bed, smoking in the home, sleeping on a couch/chair, or the co-sleeper consuming alcohol.
The American Academy of Pediatrics maintains that the safest place for a baby to sleep is in a crib in the parent's room, not crying it out in his own room! A bone to pick with the AAP: good luck finding a crib that hasn't been recalled!
by garolyn on November 3, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Glad to see all of you others saved me from having to write my feelings out.....I AGREE with all of you!!!!!!
by jennchsm on November 3, 2009 at 3:46 PM
It's so disappointing to see this sort of popular bad parenting advice promoted on a site devoted to health and well-being. Babies and toddlers don't stop needing parenting just because it's nighttime. Yes, it can be exhausting and inconvenient, but parenting is a 24/7 job.
There is MUCH better advice and information about helping babies and toddlers sleep here: http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp
by tiffany2023 on November 12, 2009 at 6:44 AM
What horrible advice. "cry it out"? I wonder if this woman even has children. She is hardly an expert judging from her credentials. I feel like Livestrong should be recruting much more interesting and credible writers for these types of articles.
by lauriann on November 12, 2009 at 10:27 AM
Thank goodness that others have spoken up... What terrible advice!! Clearly written by someone with no experience in how to raise our children as human beings with feelings. Stop by a local zoo and see how much more respect they give the newborn babies than your are suggesting for our babies. Separate a baby wolf from the pack at night and let him howl it out and you get a neurotic wolf with psychological problems. Any science relating bed-wetting and crying it out??
There seems to be a lot of advice on how to 'make' our babies easy little machines, but then when they are unruly teenagers or insecure, hyperactive children...well, the more that you raise your young babies and children in a loving, secure environment the more secure and loving they will be as adults. In a society contaminated with materialistic ideals and a lack of humanity this advice is not helpful...just more of the same problem.
by dredoo on November 15, 2009 at 12:11 PM
I really don't understand why you all are so upset with the author. If you don't mind getting up all night then that's your decision. Rodriguez wrote this article for people not wanting to do that anymore. And she's not telling you to leave your newborn alone all night long, but a toddler should be capable of sleeping by his or herself throughout the night. Her recommendations are backed by decades of child psychology research. It's important to teach your child good sleeping habits or else they grow up to become insomniacs like me. And for all of those who are offended because she doesn't seem to support co-sleeping...co-sleeping is a relatively new thing that doesn't have much research to back it up, so it's not clear whether or not it is a positive or negative thing. And she's not saying don't do it, she's just giving you food for thought. There was absolutely no fear-mongering in this article however all of your comments are extremely irrational and reactionary.