According to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a third of all teenagers have been involved in an abusive dating relationship. The majority are female. They may be unwilling to confide in adults because they don't want to give parents or teachers control over their relationship or be forced to end it. A teenager may even believe that her boyfriend's behavior is romantic--until it gets out of control. If you think a teenager in your life is in an abusive relationship, there will probably be signs if you are observant and watch for them.
Appearance of the Victim
The Center for Children and Families in the Justice System says that a teenage victim of abuse may drop weight, either inadvertently from stress or deliberately because she is afraid that her appearance may not be pleasing to her boyfriend. The website TeensHealth adds that she may begin appearing bruised or have other inexplicable injuries. Watch for your teen wearing clothing with long sleeves even if the weather is hot.
Behavior of the Victim
A teenager who is being abused may stop showing interest in spending any time with his friends, either because his abuser is restricting him from doing so, or because he is embarrassed or ashamed. He may begin missing time from school. He may drop out or begin failing classes, may have a hard time making his mind up regarding important decisions, or may be inclined toward emotional outbursts for little or no reason.
Signs in the Abuser
According to the Center for Children and Families, the teenager's abuser will probably exhibit certain behavior and personality traits. He may claim that he cannot live without her and even to kill or hurt himself if she leaves him. He may be possessive or jealous to an extreme, always wanting to be alone with her rather than with family and friends. He may "stalk" her, either on the telephone or in person, when they are not together, keeping tabs on her and who she is with. He may be prone to dark moods or have a violent temper that he might easily take out on inanimate objects, pets or children. The teen may also be hypersensitive to criticism, according to the Alabama Coalition Against Domestic Violence.
Signs in the Relationship
If you believe a teenager is being abused, watch the couple when they are together. The abuser's commitment and attachment to her victim may appear to be moving too fast. She may be unwilling to show him any approval or respect. She may turn small spats into full-blown arguments, according the Center for Children and Families. She may use physical force during the argument, slapping or kicking.
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