How to Deal With Oppositional, Defiant Children

How to Deal With Oppositional, Defiant Children
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A child with oppositional defiant disorder, or ODD, can be a challenge to live with. You may fear that saying the slightest thing will set off a tantrum or lead to physical violence toward you or another family member. When you have a child with ODD, your daily life can become seriously disrupted. Leaving the child with a babysitter is often out of the question, so the parents' social life is severely curtailed or ceases to exist altogether. It is not uncommon to dislike your ODD child, even though you still love him.

Step 1

Choose your battles, but fight the ones that are important. A child with ODD often knows you're walking on eggshells around her. She knows she controls the household with her tantrums. Standing your ground on certain issues will show her that her negative behavior will not always get her what she wants. Be determined to keep your cool, no matter how difficult it is.

Step 2

Avoid physical punishment. Hitting a child who is angry often makes him angrier. If you remain calm and rational in the face of his anger, it sends the message that he can't push your buttons and incite you to match his rage.

Step 3

Set clear limits and consequences. Be consistent, and don't back down. This gives the child clear structure and boundaries.

Step 4

Give praise where praise is due. When your child does something you have requested or excels at something, tell her you're proud of her. Reinforce the good behavior as strongly as you punish the negative.

Step 5

Go to family therapy. A child who constantly pushes your buttons may be playing on your own codependency issues. Not only will therapy help you deal with these issues, it will show your child that you're serious about the need to improve her behavior and that you support her in doing so.

Things You'll Need

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References

Article reviewed by SarahP Last updated on: Sep 12, 2010

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