How To Overcome The Fear Of Enemies

In a society obsessed with being politically correct and non confrontational, the fear of making and confronting enemies can paralyze some. If you're the type of person who fears things like confrontation, bullies or making someone upset, you could be living a mousy and unassertive existence. It may sound ideal, but never confronting anyone could make you lead a life in which you never speak your mind and get what you want. Overcome the fear of enemies by taking steps to recognize your real enemies and making them into friends.

Step 1

Look for the signs of an enemy. You may accept people into your life who you think are your friends, but really they seek to tear you down. In this case, the shock of realizing someone you trust is really an enemy can make you fear getting close to anyone ever again. Being vigilant about the signs of an enemy can help you weed out the haters from your true friends. Watch for things like deconstructive criticism and backstabbing to protect yourself from enemies, warns "Psychology Today."

Step 2

Make an effort to get to know those who seek to be your enemy or constantly alienate and pick on you. The old adage says to keep your friends close and your enemies closer. By getting to know your enemies, you also learn to protect yourself. If you have an enemy at work that constantly spreads rumors and lies about you, for example, try and understand why that is. If she's jealous of your position at work, volunteer to add her to your team for a big project so you can keep a watchful eye over her and what she says.

Step 3

Assert your own moral courage knowing that you have the right to say what you want and stand up for what you believe in. Understand your own beliefs and ideals, urges Rushworth M. Kidder in his book, "Moral Courage." When it comes time to defend them to someone who belittles you, you can do so in the knowledge that you're doing what you believe is morally correct. Stand up for yourself and know that your words and deeds have merit and no one can change that.

Step 4

Allow yourself to become vulnerable from time to time though you may be afraid of enemies who persecute and bully you. Otherwise, you may become a hardened shell of a person. Soon, you'll find yourself jaded and devoid of the ability to make friends. While an enemy could make you feel bad about yourself, betray or hurt you, each experience teaches you about your capacity to survive and how to deal with the situation in the future. Don't allow an enemy to fundamentally change who you are. Instead, open yourself up to experiences, both good and bad.