Understanding How Men Think in a Relationship

Overview

Men have many different thoughts when they are in relationships. Men want companionship, friendship, a lover and someone who can keep up with them intellectually. A relationship will go through many stages, and friendship, warmth, attraction and honesty are must-haves at every stage.

Step 1

Communicate openly and honestly if you want a good relationship with a man. No buildup, no drama and no excuses. If you want something, ask for it directly. If something is bothering you, say so without a lot of hemming and hawing. Don't overthink situations in your mind and let them build up for weeks and weeks when two or three sentences could have addressed this problem on Day One.

Step 2

Show an open and adventurous attitude towards sex. This does not mean that your man wants to set records and see his name in the Guiness Book of World Records, but that you enjoy making love and you are giving and very natural with your body. You are not trying to make any statements but you want to share each other. Most men crave the feelings that go with sex and that includes warmth and security. Many women think men want to validate their masculinity through sex but that is just a small part of it. They can do that with someone who is not relationship-worthy. Think of sexual compatibility as a private journey that the two of you will take for the duration of your relationship.

Step 3

Accept imperfections in your man. Nobody likes to be in a relationship where someone is trying to correct them at all times. It is tiresome and men grow tired of hearing all their faults. Open communication is great, but if you are always criticizing and trying to change your partner for the better, your relationship is likely going to be doomed in a short period of time.

Step 4

Demonstrate your independence. Men like to be in a relationship with someone who has the strength to be on her own financially, emotionally and intellectually. When both partners in a relationship can function as individuals, that's when the relationship has a chance to flower. Neither one is dependent on each other and therefore neither person owes the other. They are both choosing to be there and there are no hidden agendas.

Step 5

Allow your man to get close and stay close. Many women fear that their relationships will end or get sabotaged at one point or another. So instead of letting the relationship run its course, they sabotage it themselves by not letting the man in at crucial moments. Courage is needed to trust someone. Both parties in the relationship must have it. One partner may very well make mistakes that hurt the other partner, but don't think you can protect yourself and still have a relationship by not letting your partner "in."