In a moment of anger, you may feel powerless against the tumultuous emotions that you experience, and you may find yourself saying things or making choices that you later regret. You do not have to become entrapped by the emotion of anger, though. Through anger-management exercises, you can learn how to not only manage your anger but also enjoy your life more fully.
Write It Out
Express your anger in healthier ways and explore the reasons behind it by writing it out. Before you start this exercise, Gillian Bloxham, in "Anger Management for Dummies," recommends thinking ahead and deciding "what you'll do to relax after you've finished." Then, choose a quiet location where you will not be disturbed. Give yourself about five minutes to describe your anger in writing, as well as any other emotions that you have been experiencing.
You may choose to write a journal entry, a letter to someone you feel angry toward or even a letter to yourself describing your true feelings. Once you have finished writing, read back over what you have written and circle the words that reveal your emotions, such as "angry" or "hurt." If possible, take time as well to describe these emotions to a trusted friend or counselor.
Keep It Short
Learn to pace yourself in a moment of anger by keeping it short and breathing between statements. Bloxham explains that "neurological sciences explain that human beings can only digest...so much information at a time." People can become overwhelmed and distracted when they are spoken to loudly, rapidly and with hostility.
Instead, when you are in a tense situation, speak for one minute, take a deep breath, and allow the other person to say something in return. After the other person has finished speaking, speak for one more minute, and then pause again, take a deep breath, and allow the other person to reply. When you are not speaking, try to focus on what the other person is saying instead of on what you want to say next. For this exercise, Bloxham suggests using an egg timer to learn how to pace yourself and breathe.
Express Gratitude
Focus on the positive aspects of your life by expressing gratitude and appreciation daily. Raymond Chip Tafrate and Howard Kassinove, in "Anger Management for Everyone: Seven Proven Ways to Control Anger and Live a Happier Life," explain that expressing gratitude and appreciation on a regular basis can help not only with anger management, but also with overall life enjoyment. To complete this exercise, they suggest listing two or three activities that went well during your day and then considering why these activities went well. You might list these positive benefits in a journal, or you might include them in a prayer.
Then, share your gratitude and appreciation directly with someone else, such as through a letter, email, phone call or conversation. For example, you might leave a thank you card for your spouse or you may tell your coworkers how much you appreciate their contributions.
References
- "Anger Management for Dummies;" Gillian Bloxham; 2010
- "Anger Management for Everyone: Seven Proven Ways to Control Anger and Live a Happier Life;" Raymond Chip Tafrate, Howard Kassinove; 2009
- HelpGuide: Anger Management: Tips and Techniques for Getting Anger Under Control
