Time-outs are an appropriate discipline technique for preschool children- children ages three to five years old--according to Kids Health. When using time-outs as an approach to managing your child's behavior, you need to consider where, when and how you will use them. Timeouts are beneficial, not only as a behavior management technique for a preschooler but for parents as well.
Definition
A time-out is typically used when a child is displaying inappropriate behavior. It involves moving the child to a room, chair, or other designated area and leaving him there for a designated amount of time, according to Jerry Wyckoff and Baraba Unell, authors of "Discipline without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems."
Implementation
When using time-out as a behavior management, or disciplinary approach, Wyckoff and Unell recommend using a timer set for one minute per each year of age, up to a total of five minutes. A three year-old, for example, will sit in time-out for three minutes. You may also choose to use a time-out without a set time frame, instead telling the child, "When you feel calm, you can come out."
If your child, once placed in time-out and told to wait until the timer goes off to leave, abandons time-out early, replace him and start the time over. Your child may need to be replaced multiple times. Do so with minimal interaction, such as saying, "Sit. You may come out when the timer goes off."
While your child is in time-out, do not engage with him. Allow him hisr anger, yelling or crying while in time-out, but do not allow destructive behavior.
Kids Health recommends a toy-less time-out zone. If your preschooler is able to play in his time-out zone, then time-out is not going to seem like a big deal for him, and it will lose its intended effect. Be sure the time-out zone is a safe area for your child.
When to Use Time-Out
Time-out, as with any behavior management technique, should be used selectively and in conjunction with other approaches for teaching your child acceptable behavior. Overuse of time-outs will warrant them ineffective, according to Elizabeth Pantley in "The No-Cry Discipline Solution." Pantley advises you to decide which behaviors will warrant a time-out and make this information known to your child ahead of time. Children benefit from knowing expectations ahead of time, as well as consequences for negative behavior. Pantley suggests behaviors such as backtalk, hitting or destructiveness as well-suited for time-outs.
Function
Time-out is used to stop behaviors that are unacceptable, teach the child to calm down and control her behavior. When you remove your child from time-out, both of you calm, let your child know--concisely and politely--why she was in time-out. Ask your child to apologize for the inappropriate behavior and then move on. Pantley instructs parents not to hold a grudge after the time-out episode is over. Instead, you can offer a hug and tell your child you love her. The forgiveness and respect you model in that moment teaches your child mistakes are acceptable, they can learn from them and they are still loved despite making a mistake.
Benefits
Time-outs are beneficial, not only in interrupting negative behavior and allowing the child to calm down but also in allowing you time apart from your child so you may calm down as well. Parenting a preschooler, according to Wyckoff and Unell, is "sometimes like hitting your head against a brick wall." A moment apart from one another helps ease flared tempers so you both can regain self-control.
References
- Kids Health: Disciplining Your Child
- "Discipline without Shouting or Spanking: Practical Solutions to the Most Common Preschool Behavior Problems"; Jerry Wyckoff and Barbara Unell; 2002
- "The No-Cry Discipline Solution"; Elizabeth Pantley; 2007
