How to Cope With Loss: A Guide For Teens

Overview

It is never easy to lose someone or something special. The death of a friend, family member or pet; the divorce of your parents; a romantic break up; and even a move can strongly effect your emotions. There are many different ways that people deal with loss. Here are some ideas to keep in mind during troubled times.

Step 1

Recognize that grieving is a process. With loss usually comes grief, which is defined by Webster's Dictionary as "deep sadness or sorrow." Grief comes in several stages: denial, sadness, anger and acceptance are just a few of the emotions you might experience when dealing with a loss (and not necessarily in that order). What's most important is that you understand that all of these responses are normal.

Step 2

Give yourself time. It may take a while not only to recognize your loss, but also to understand the feelings and reactions you might have because of it. You may feel like you're going crazy. These emotions can all be part of the process. Be gentle with yourself during this time. Surround yourself with the people and things that help you feel most comfortable, and understand that although the pain may not go away, it will lessen over time.

Step 3

Honor the loss. Finding a way of remembering or commemorating a loss can be an effective part of the healing process. Although it can bring up feelings of sadness or anger, experiencing those feelings can ultimately help you cope in the long run. Creating an altar or scrapbook, joining a local grief support group or expressing yourself through movement, song, or writing can be helpful, not only for allowing your feelings to emerge, but also for preserving memories.

Step 4

Find support. People don't want to burden others with their sadness or anger, but one of the best ways to get through a loss is to share it with someone else. Confiding in a family member, an adult you trust or a friend who really knows you can be helpful, not only in dealing with your feelings, but also in understanding that you are not alone in the process. If you feel embarrassed or ashamed, there are some great teen phone lines (see Tips section) you can call to talk with someone.

Step 5

Recognize when you need help. If you notice that you are no longer eating or you are eating much more than usual; that your grades, attendance or attention at school are slipping; that you don't want to talk to anyone (even the people closest to you); or you don't care about the things you used to, you might be struggling more than usual. If that's the case, don't beat yourself up. Share your struggles with an adult you trust. Check at school to see if there's a teacher, counselor or nurse with whom you can talk, or if you participate in sports or other activities outside of school, confide in an adult who's involved. Finding people who might know of other ways for you to get help can be part of your healing.