No age is clear cut as to when it is most difficult for a child to endure his parent's divorce. Different age groups handle the reaction of divorce differently. Parents need to be made aware that even if they are not fighting in front of their children, the children still feel the impact of the divorce. Be on the lookout for signs that your child may be having trouble dealing with your divorce.
Significance
Because children go through an array of stages of development from a young age, it is important to always handle a divorce situation delicately. Take the time to talk to your children about the separation process before or as it is happening. Some children may experience a sense of loss, especially if one parent moves far away. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry explains that parents should always keep the topic of divorce simple and as straightforward as possible. Avoid keeping the divorce from them and tell them it's OK to be sad or angry---this is part of the healing process.
Time Frame
The University of New Hampshire Cooperative Extension states that school-aged children often have the most difficult time adjusting to their parent's divorce. Psychologists explain the reason for this could be because children around this age, 5 to 17, are able to understand what it means for their parents to divorce so the pain is real. They feel they cannot fix the pain and it is out of their control or that it is their fault for their parents splitting up. This can cause psychological and emotional distress.
Features
Children who are in middle school and junior high often have trouble finding an outlet for their grief and pain caused from a divorce. They may showcase behaviors and feelings that can be troubling, explains Divorce Source website. Depression, sadness, guilt, anger, bargaining and a fear of abandonment can be something that many children between the ages of 10 and 15 may display.
Considerations
Some divorce situations may be especially hard on a child if it is during a developmental time in which he relies on his dad or mom. Kids in later adolescence are looking toward their independence, explains Divorce Source. Anytime there is a disruption in the family unit, such as a separation or divorce, the teen may turn toward unpredictable behavior and place blame on one or both parents. Older children and teens may also rebel and turn to substance abuse, running away, truancy and poor social behavior as a result of having to endure the pain of divorce.
Effects
It is important for a child of divorce to be able to spend time equally among his parents as long as it abides by the courts order. This will provide the healthiest resolution to the problem. As a parent, avoiding hostile, aggressive parenting techniques with your child, such as trying to turn him away from his father or overbearing or protecting the child from his father, can cause anxiety in your child, explains the Divorce and Children website.
