To a child in the throes of an anxiety attack, his panic often seems all-encompassing. A parent or caregiver watching the struggles of an anxious child may feel compelled to do anything to end his suffering, but allowing a child to avoid the things he fears may make the situation worse. Teach your child to confront the things that make him anxious and remind him that the anxiety will decrease if he allows it to.
Step 1
Develop a scale on which your child can rate her anxiety, with 1 being no anxiety at all and 10 being the most anxious she's ever felt. When she panics, ask her to give you a rating of how she feels right then.
Step 2
Explain to your child that people cannot stay at a level 10 on the emotional scale all the time, because it would be too exhausting. Tell him that even in the presence of the thing he fears, his body must eventually calm itself down. Encourage him to stay in the stressful situation, focusing on his breathing, until he feels the anxiety decrease. Ask for a 1 to 10 rating every few minutes until the number starts to drop.
Step 3
Reward the child for her bravery. When she faces her fears, tell her how strong and capable she is. When she's afraid, remind her how strong and brave she was when she survived her anxiety before.
Step 4
Work with your child to create a list of cheerleading statements and soothing thoughts he can use when he feels afraid. An example might be, "I have survived worse than this and I can survive this too." Teach him to talk himself through moments of panic.
Step 5
Validate your child's fears without catering to them. Let her know you understand that she is afraid, but that the fear has no basis in reality. Acknowledge her anxiety, but encourage her to face the thing that makes her anxious. Do not go out of your way to avoid places, things or situations that make her anxious. Instead, let her know that you are by her side to make sure nothing bad happens to her.
