No child behaves perfectly all of the time. Children are capable of demonstrating a wide range of behavior, often depending on their developmental stage and the situation. Given the variety in the types of child behavior, it's up to parents and other relevant adults to evaluate children's actions. Doing so can help identify abnormal, inappropriate or troubling behavior before it becomes a major problem.
Normal Conduct
Although the definition of "normal" varies from context to context and person to person, normal child behavior generally refers to conduct that parents and other adults approve of or expect, according to the American Academy of Pediatrics. Such behavior is usually appropriate for the child's age or stage of development, as well as the context in which it occurs. Examples of normal behavior in children include completing the chores that parents assign, doing homework in a timely and thorough manner and following parents' instructions, such as going to bed or returning home from a social event when requested.
Tolerable Conduct
Sometimes children do things that their parents or other adults are willing to let go or overlook on occasion, although they don't approve of the behavior. The American Academy of Pediatrics classifies such conduct as tolerated behavior. Examples include demonstrating personality traits such as rudeness or selfishness to an extreme or not doing an expected activity such as chores or homework. Adults are more likely to tolerate child behavior that they usually disapprove of if unusual circumstances are involved, such as the child is sick or under a lot of stress.
Unacceptable Conduct
Unacceptable child behavior typically causes physical, emotional or social harm to the child or other people. Examples of unacceptable behavior in children include breaking the law, cutting school, engaging in intense fights with family members, lying habitually and using alcohol or drugs. When children exhibit unacceptable behavior, their conduct should serve as a clear sign that something is wrong and parents need to take action. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises parents to never disregard, reinforce or tolerate such unacceptable behavior in their children.
Disordered Conduct
A primary reason parents should not ignore or permit unacceptable behavior is because it can signal a more serious behavior disorder or mental health condition that might become more severe over time. According to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, up to 4 percent of American children aged 9 to 17 have a behavior disorder, and up to 20 percent of adolescents and children might suffer from a mental health disorder that affects their behavior and emotions. Also called conduct disorders, behavior disorders are generally present when a child has at least six months of unacceptable behavior, including abnormal or drastically changed eating practices, continual disobedience, declining academic performance, precocious or premature sexual activity, suicide attempts and aggressive, destructive or threatening actions. If your child's behavior remains unacceptable for an extended time and talking about the situation with her doesn't help, you should consult a qualified mental health specialist, according to the American Academy of Child Adolescent Psychiatry.
References
- American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry: When to Seek Help for Your Child
- HealthyChildren: Normal Child Behavior
- National Mental Health Information Center: Children and Adolescents with Mental, Emotional, and Behavioral Disorders
- National Mental Health Information Center: Conduct Disorder in Children and Adolescents
