Nonverbal communication is one of the most significant ways to communicate with your family members. Ninety-three percent of the messages we send are perceived based on nonverbal communication, according to "Psychology Today." Awareness and proper use of body language when communicating in family relationships is important because sending the wrong messages non-verbally can cause confusion and hurt feelings.
Significance
For decades experts have known that nonverbal communication has a significant impact on relationships. In the 1970s and 1980s, professor Albert Mehrabian conducted research that changed the way we look at communication. He found that people primarily deduce their feelings and beliefs about what someone says not by the words they use, but by their body language and tone of voice. If our words and body language do not correspond, people will believe the nonverbal communication, according to "Psychology Today." Awareness of body language when communicating emotion and to emphasize practical day-to-day information with your family members is important in order to send messages that convey your intentions accurately.
Nonverbal Communication Tips
Developing loving relationships with family members can be enhanced with the proper use of body language. According to psychotherapist and communication expert Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., examples of nonverbal body language include:
A squeeze of the hand or a touch on the arm while listening to your family member. This gesture communicates empathy and that you are listening to them.
Make frequent eye contact. When you look at your family member with interest and patient attention, whatever the topic they are discussing, you will enhance your connection with them.
Your body position and posture send messages about your feelings and intentions. Positioning your body facing your loved one communicates acceptance and attentiveness.
Communicating Nonverbally with Children
Research has found that if children are inept at developing relationships, they often lack good communication skills. Parents can teach their children nonverbal communication in order to help them accomplish their communication goals. Children who make communication mistakes may behave in the following ways: standing too close to others, interrupting or dressing inappropriately, according to Ohio State University.
A parent can assess their child's nonverbal skills by turning the volume down on the television and asking them to describe what the characters are experiencing. After the child has described their interpretation, the volume should be restored to see how accurate the child's descriptions are. A similar exercise can be completed in a public place, watching people at a shopping mall for example. If a child fails to interpret the interactions they observe effectively, they may need practice understanding nonverbal communication. Ask them to use facial expressions to convey different feelings, for example, happiness, anger, sadness and fear. These exercises can be repeated as often as necessary until the child seems more comfortable with nonverbal communication, and other family members--older siblings for example--can be recruited to help their young family member.
Expert Insight
Barton Goldsmith, Ph.D., psychotherapist, columnist, radio host and speaker, recommends that families can spend an evening together videotaping themselves talking and reviewing the tape while giving one another feedback. If they don't like what they see, they can make changes to enhance their nonverbal communication skills.
Researchers, led by Amy Halberstadt, for the National Science Foundation, discovered that families that have problems perceiving nonverbal communication often fall into the category of being highly expressive and low in perception of expression. Families who score low in perceptiveness of nonverbal communication skills could practice exercises in order to improve their skills and relationships.
Warning
In many families, there is a tendency to be distracted or unfocused when communicating, which sends the message that the person is not fully engaged in the message the other person is sending. Nonverbal communication can play an important role in keeping communication lines open, which is important for families to feel connected. When communicating, fully focusing and avoiding distractions is key. The family member will notice and feel like you care, reports "Psychology Today."
References
- Ohio State University Extension Department: Family and Consumer Sciences Fact Sheet: Nonverbal Communication: Teaching Your Child the Skills of Social Success
- American Psychological Association Convention: The Relationship between Family Expressiveness and Nonverbal Communication:
- Psychology Today 10 Tips to Create Powerful Non-Verbal Communication
- Psychology Today: Touch is the ultimate communication
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