Parents who discuss problems and feelings with their children not only provide emotional security, but also help clarify confusing situations that their children may have blown out of proportion or misunderstood, notes the University of Minnesota Extension's Making a Difference website. Whether a child has endured a traumatic event, is acting out or seems bothered by something, use simple activities to encourage him to express his feelings.
Tell Stories
If a child is reluctant to discuss emotional situations, use real or fictional stories to help draw her out. If you're helping a group of children discuss their feelings after a natural disaster, for example, the NC University and A&T University Cooperative Extension Disaster Information website suggests letting the kids tell personal stories about the incident. Discuss each story as a group so the children will see that their feelings are not unusual or unfounded. You can also let children write fiction stories that will let them express their feelings through those of a main character.
Create Artwork
Children unable to express their emotions may be able to reveal their feelings through art projects. The University of Illinois Extension Disaster Resources website recommends giving the children a topic, letting them draw or paint a related picture and then discussing the meaning behind the artwork. You can use themes, such as "a scary moment" or "the day I got angry" to encourage the children to create a self-portrait, an abstract image or a cartoon of an event that made them feel fear, anger, sadness, hurt or jealousy.
Keep a Journal
Older children may appreciate writing in a shared journal rather than discussing their feelings with you face to face. Let your child know that either of you can pick it up at any time to write random thoughts. You can also write about the other person's entries to get a meaningful discussion going. When discussing your child's emotional statements or reactions, the University of Minnesota Extension's Making a Difference website recommends accepting his viewpoint and asking questions to uncover deeper issues rather than immediately dismissing or trying to negate the feelings.
Reenact Situations
Toys, such as dolls, puppets, cars or blocks can become props to help a child reenact an incident that made her feel strong emotions. The University of Illinois Extension Disaster Resources website notes that allowing a child to create a puppet show or use toys to recreate a scene can help you understand what she's feeling. After the emotional play activity, discuss what you noticed and encourage the child to tell you what each aspect meant.
Examine Expressions
An entertaining game may help children discuss emotions. MissouriFamilies.org suggests playing a game using facial expressions. You can make face, such as an angry scowl or a sad or worried look, and ask the child to describe how you're feeling. After discussing something that makes you feel that way, you can ask the child to talk about a time that he felt angry, sad or worried.
References
- NC Cooperative Extension Disaster Information: Helping Students Deal with Disaster
- University of Illinois Extension Disaster Resources: Children, Stress and Natural Disasters
- University of Minnesota Extension: After a Natural Disaster, Talking with Children
- MissouriFamilies.org: Helping Children Understand Emotions
